Happy Thursday my Lovelies!
It has been 8 days since my last post, nearly unheard of for me. I have been dealing with a lot here lately, from pain to personal strife, work to ministry activities at the church. I have been burning it at both ends; I’m tired, frustrated and all around burnt out. Now all of this culminates into me being a not so chipper, frankly quite irritable me. It would not be unfair to say that I am not exactly happy right now, that for the most part I am wishing for something to magically and mystically change my present outlook. So I guess that calls for a bit of introspection, delving into my own psyche to garner the reason for my unhappiness… Yea, I’m not really about to do that. Happiness is fleeting; it is contingent upon so many outside forces that it can wax and wane predictably like the cycle of the moon. Someone asked me today what made me unhappy and then what make me happy. I couldn’t really answer that due to its transitory nature; I was silent and said that I had to go. That was a punk move I know, but I was uncomfortable with not being able to answer the question.
So I will focus on one of the things that I love in life, little babbles that make me smile and have me ignoring sustenance to marvel at the colors and cuts, clarity and sparkle… gemstones! I some in the mail on Monday and was ecstatic to see what I had bought. I purchased a 100 carat gemstone parcel and of course with a parcel you never know what you are going to get. I ended up with a whole host of garnets, citrines, amethyst, a few smoky quartz and what I honestly believe are emeralds! I neglected my food on Monday night just so I could sort through the parcel. That is the beauty and downfall of buying parcels, you don’t have any idea of what you may or may not find, what sizes, quality or color and even more if they will be calibrated or not, so that you can make jewelry.
Clockwise from left to right: Citrine, Garnet, Peridot, Smoky Quartz, Amethyst, and Emerald
I have found that I am much better off not focusing on me being happy or unhappy but rather on those things that truly bring me joy. Blogging and writing bring me joy, gemstone collecting brings me joy, the simple things in life bring me joy. Doing for others brings me joy, reading has always brought me joy because for just a little while I can get caught up in a world that is not my own and be inspired.
Find what brings you joy my lovelies; find that one thing that makes you sigh in contentment and stick with it.
Blessings and Happiness
T. Nicole
I talked to my mom this morning (I try to talk to my mom at least once a day, but life happens at times and it may go down to once a week, but we do text) and she told me something that has sat with me most of the day. I was recounting to her that people’s reactions to my blog and/or tweets surprises me. I don’t write things purposely to get people to read or pay any attention to me; I write because it is cathartic to me, it makes me happy and it gives me an avenue to voice all of those things that are in my head on a day-to-day basis. It amazes me that people are helped by what I write, that people take notice of little ol’ me. The gift of the pen is one that I have had since I was a kid. I can write papers, poetry, short stories, etc. without much effort at all on my part.
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I am so late posting this week. Somehow I let life get the best of me and I pushed those things I love to the wayside. There is so much going on in my head. Countless thoughts, inspirations and ideas that need to be given life and purpose, but I don’t know where to find the time to do it all. There is a second business to get off the ground, two books to work on, a non-profit to create on paper then establish, added to that is my regular life, ( marriage, family, work, church, health, and somewhere in there I have to find time for me).
Please don’t take this as me complaining, as I take great joy in my work and feel fulfilled when I can cross one more thing off of my life’s to-do list. I have been blessed with the gift of writing and am certain that in doing what I am passionate about, I am not only honing my craft but also actually ministering to and nourishing my soul. So my Lovelies keep your open as great things are on the horizon!
Blessings and Happiness
T. Nicole
T. Nicole's Graham Cracker Crumbs by Tanesha N. Graham is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
T. Nicole's Graham Cracker Crumbs 
You Don’t Know What Love Is
Hey my lovelies!!
I’m up late and unable to sleep, which is par for the course with me, but I can’t shut my mind off because of what transpired on Sunday. I went to church yesterday after missing choir rehearsal last week due to both a sinus and upper respiratory infection, and I think my tolerance for people’s bad behavior has reached an all time low. When I come into God’s house I genuinely want to be there. It does my heart good to know that I can be beat up and put down by the world Monday – Saturday, but on Sunday can come to a place where I am embraced and loved.
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Posted by grahamcrackercrumbs09 on March 3, 2014 in Grinds My Gears, Social Commentary
Tags: Christian, Church, God, Grinds My Gears, Love, Poetry, Social Commentary, Writing