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Don’t Put Your Labels On Me – Part II

Don’t Put Your Labels On Me – Part II

Here we are yet again… *sigh*

I’ve had multiple instances in the past couple of weeks where someone (in this case WASP / White Anglo Saxon Protestant female manager bolstered by another authoritative WASP woman) automatically assumed I was lying and tried to “catch” me by offering up what they saw as “proof”. I had to write detailed explanations of the circumstances, justify myself and provided my own absolutely irrefutable proof that I was indeed being ethical and truthful from the very beginning. (I.e. I shut this mess down quickly with perfect tact, professionalism and screen grabs.) This was followed by the most insulting five words I’ve heard in recent memory, “Thank you for your honesty.”

Thank you for your honesty?! That insinuates that you assume that everything I say and/or do is fabricated until you feel you have sufficient proof that I’m telling the truth. This coming from the same non-POC people who, when the tables are turned, and I KNOW that non-POC has glaringly lied through their perfectly veneered teeth, tell me to “assume positive intent” or that I “misunderstood” what they said/did/asked/instructed/demanded. I am positive that it was intended to make me out a thief of time, a fabricator of salacious falsehoods and unethical to boot. Nothing there to misunderstand.

To compound all of this and add insult to injury, the earlier exchange is later followed by a backhanded compliment of a recorded WebEx presentation I did 3-4 weeks ago saying, “… it was very professional and easy to follow. I was very impressed with your presentation skills…”. There again are the micro aggressions.

It is automatically ASSumed that we are lying. It is automatically ASSumed that, despite our experience and education, we don’t have the same or better skill set than our white counterparts. And when we prove we ARE telling the truth and we DO have the knowledge and expertise, they are “impressed” with our professionalism and presentation skills. You ASSume because of my milk chocolate hued skin, my Afrocentric name and my love of head wraps that I couldn’t possibly be poised and polished and able to lead, teach, and inform the masses, let alone the white masses. I have to prove to you beyond what is expected of my white counterparts that I AM and that I CAN.

This is what it is to be black in Corporate America. This is what it is to be black in America, period.

#staywoke #resist #DiaryOfAMadBlackProfessionalWoman

 
 

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New Line – TND Bespoke Haberdashery

New Line – TND Bespoke Haberdashery

Hey Bling Lovers!

Things have been hectic since Hurricane Harvey wrecked havoc in August and the entire region has been trying to recover and resume some sense of normalcy. While my ability to ship out orders was delayed things got done, orders were shipped and received and all went well. But it was during this time that I’ve been MIA on my blog that I was putting that time to good use. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 16, 2017 in Work Life

 

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Not Now Does Not Mean Not Ever

Not Now Does Not Mean Not Ever

What do you do when you come to the realization that you have arrived at a place in your career when you have no desire to be in management? We’re told via succession planning and the seen potential in us by others, that we are management material. Management is always conveyed as the ultimate goal of any role, to be in charge of and over others. But the looks of disbelief that come when you tell your supervisor/manager that have no passion or desire to move into management are staggering. They look at you in disbelief, dumbfounded at your words, and as if you have taken temporary leave of your senses; like you are lazy and lacking in ambition, when that couldn’t be further from the truth. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 27, 2014 in Inspiration, Work Life

 

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Hump Day Levity

Happy Hump Day my lovelies!! It’s been a rough couple of weeks for me and I need to laugh. So below is what I found last night and laughed my fool head off at! I promise I’m going to do this on my way out of the office on Friday!

How I Turn Up In the Club (Martin)

I Walk In The Club Like

 

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You Filthy-McNasty!!

Happy Tuesday My Lovelies!!

I have been absent, as seems to be my modus oporandi here lately, as life has swept me up and dropped me far, far from where I originally started.  As I come up on the 1 year anniversary of starting this blog I feel the innate need to give you another “Grinds My Gears” segment.  So here goes:

Anyone with a job, anyone who works in Corporate America or in any office for that matter, will tell you that there is always some inane chit chat going around the cube farm about who does and doesn’t wash their hands after using the restroom.   There is always some commentary about certain people’s personal hygiene or lack there of.  Personally, I stay far, far away from office gossip, pandering and bs; I could probably care less about Bob, Becky or Jenny’s failure to wash their hands, as long as they aren’t touching anything on my desk and I avoid all food from those with “questionable” hygiene practices. Read the rest of this entry »

 

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I Want Spring Break Too Damn It!!!

Hello my Lovelies!!

It is yet another day and I will admit to being bored out of my ever-loving mind!!!  So this week the majority of the country is out on Spring Break and offices are running on a skeleton crew and there is little going on.  I’m envious damn it!  Yea, I admit to it, I want to take Spring Break off too!!  But because I am in graduate school here in a little over a week (I am to begin per-requisites for my PhD in Clinical Psychology), I’m not a teacher or work in the education field and I don’t have any children, Spring Break is all but forbidden to me.  Therefore I will be salty and a hater (which is an absolute rarity on my part) and pout and everything else possible to show my displeasure at my current status.  Is that childish, ignorant and wholly out of character for me? Yup and I don’t care!!!!

So instead of sunning somewhere where clouds rarely ever exist, obtaining perfect bikini tan lines and falling asleep to the sound of waves breaking on the beach, I will sit here at my desk, listening to samba music on Pandora, daydreaming about my time in Rio a few years back and eating a Cutie orange… This week can’t be over fast enough!!!

Blessings, Happiness and Fun in the Sun

T. Nicole

 

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An Exercise In Introspection

Hey my Lovelies!!

I have abandoned you in the last few weeks because work has been handing me my ass so much that I have more in the front than I do in back right now!!  Life has brought many changes for me in the last couple of weeks, all of which I want go share with you.

Read the rest of this entry »

 

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It’s A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood

Hey Hey my Lovelies!!

It has been an absolute hellified couple of weeks and I am beyond tired, frustrated and about to go nuts!    I miss the days of being a kid when all I had to worry about was going to school and watching cartoons and PBS.  So in honor or me losing my mind, here is what popped into my head today!

Blessings and Happiness

T. Nicole

 

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What Day Is It?

Ok, I have really got to get back on the ball when it comes to my blog and just about everything else extracurricular in my life. My work and church lives have literally consumed my every waking moment for the last few weeks. Read the rest of this entry »

 

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You Are Not at Home

Happy Frisky Friday ya’ll! 

   I don’t think I have ever been happier to see a Friday than I am today!  It has been a hell of a week; I’m exhausted, worn out and in desperate need of a vacation.  But one thing I was taught by my very gracious and beautiful mother is that my exterior will never look like my interior feels.  No day will you ever see me looking tore down, raggly or frumpish.  Even to go to the grocery store I will be attired properly, comfortable and casual but presentable.  You will not see me with my hair tied up, a do-rag on, stains on my clothes or walking around wrinkled; it just WON’T happen.  I am not trying to blast those that do go out looking…well, what is the word that I am looking for…slouchish.  (Yea, that word will suffice.)  I’m just saying that I  won’t go out that way; don’t get me wrong you will and can find me in a pair of yoga pants, a tank and a ponytail at the local Kroger’s.  I don’t put on a ball gown and the crown jewels to grocery shop; I just feel that you should take some pride in how you look, no vanity intended nor implied. 

     That being said, today’s Grinds My Gears” segment has to do with just this topic.  I am all for bumming around the house and being comfortable, but a time should come where when you step outside of your house that you look put together.  Case and point, casual Friday at the office is a prime example.  Although it is casual Friday in the workplace, that does not mean that you need to walk into the office looking like you are getting ready to mow the lawn!  Tennis shoes are fine, if your dress code allows such; just don’t let them be the ones that you go and play softball in or that the ones you use when you go for a run on the local neighborhood trail.  At least have the dignity to wipe the dirt and grime off of them!  Men, casual Friday does not mean you come to work looking like you have 2 days worth of 5 o’clock shadow, haven’t attempted to do something to the hair on your head and wearing a “wrankled” ( 10x worse than wrinkled) polo or Tommy Bahama shirt!  NO, NO, NO!  It is my opinion that casual Friday has been taken advantage of and people tend to make it a day where they could care less about what they look like.  Casual Friday is not the day for you to break out you soccer slides and the remnants of the bottom of your dresser drawers or questionable attire that is better suited for washing the car and vegging on the couch.  I promise I think I saw someone in the lobby wearing those pajama jeans that you see on TV… that is a No-No! 

     I have said it before and it bears repeating, the mirror is your friend!  Use it, love it, embrace it, befriend it; the mirror won’t lie to you, it will be the realist friend you will ever have.  Be a fashion innovator… not a victim.

Casual Friday Gone Wrong
THE OFFICE — “Casual Friday” Episode 526 — NBC Photo: Chris Haston

Blessings and Happiness 

T. Nicole

 

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