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Tag Archives: Tanesha Graham

Don’t Put Your Labels On Me – Part II

Don’t Put Your Labels On Me – Part II

Here we are yet again… *sigh*

I’ve had multiple instances in the past couple of weeks where someone (in this case WASP / White Anglo Saxon Protestant female manager bolstered by another authoritative WASP woman) automatically assumed I was lying and tried to “catch” me by offering up what they saw as “proof”. I had to write detailed explanations of the circumstances, justify myself and provided my own absolutely irrefutable proof that I was indeed being ethical and truthful from the very beginning. (I.e. I shut this mess down quickly with perfect tact, professionalism and screen grabs.) This was followed by the most insulting five words I’ve heard in recent memory, “Thank you for your honesty.”

Thank you for your honesty?! That insinuates that you assume that everything I say and/or do is fabricated until you feel you have sufficient proof that I’m telling the truth. This coming from the same non-POC people who, when the tables are turned, and I KNOW that non-POC has glaringly lied through their perfectly veneered teeth, tell me to “assume positive intent” or that I “misunderstood” what they said/did/asked/instructed/demanded. I am positive that it was intended to make me out a thief of time, a fabricator of salacious falsehoods and unethical to boot. Nothing there to misunderstand.

To compound all of this and add insult to injury, the earlier exchange is later followed by a backhanded compliment of a recorded WebEx presentation I did 3-4 weeks ago saying, “… it was very professional and easy to follow. I was very impressed with your presentation skills…”. There again are the micro aggressions.

It is automatically ASSumed that we are lying. It is automatically ASSumed that, despite our experience and education, we don’t have the same or better skill set than our white counterparts. And when we prove we ARE telling the truth and we DO have the knowledge and expertise, they are “impressed” with our professionalism and presentation skills. You ASSume because of my milk chocolate hued skin, my Afrocentric name and my love of head wraps that I couldn’t possibly be poised and polished and able to lead, teach, and inform the masses, let alone the white masses. I have to prove to you beyond what is expected of my white counterparts that I AM and that I CAN.

This is what it is to be black in Corporate America. This is what it is to be black in America, period.

#staywoke #resist #DiaryOfAMadBlackProfessionalWoman

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New Line – TND Bespoke Haberdashery

New Line – TND Bespoke Haberdashery

Hey Bling Lovers!

Things have been hectic since Hurricane Harvey wrecked havoc in August and the entire region has been trying to recover and resume some sense of normalcy. While my ability to ship out orders was delayed things got done, orders were shipped and received and all went well. But it was during this time that I’ve been MIA on my blog that I was putting that time to good use. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 16, 2017 in Work Life

 

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T. Nicole Designs to Participate in Luxury Celebrity Gift Lounge in Honor of the Television’s Best and Brightest Stars

T. Nicole Designs to Participate in Luxury Celebrity Gift Lounge in Honor of the Television’s Best and Brightest Stars

We are pleased to announce T. Nicole Designs, in association with The Artisan Group, will participate in an invitation-only luxury celebrity gift lounge hosted by GBK Productions on September 16-17, 2016 at an exclusive location in Beverly Hills, California in honor television’s best and brightest stars.

Our Fidelis Bracelet Collection, Nautical Dreams Bracelets, Granite Haze, Black Rose and Dragon’s Blood bracelets will be prominently featured on display at The Artisan Group’s exhibit, and all attending celebrities, select press and media, and other VIPs will receive our Fidelis Lion Head bracelet in either Black Onyx or Garnet in their swag bags. This event will also be attended by around forty press and media outlets.

Fidleis

To learn more about T. Nicole Designs and our products, or our participation in this exclusive event, visit www.designsbytnicole.com ], call 832-529-2696 or email tnicole@designsbytnicole.com.

Tanesha N. Graham, T. Nicole Designs’ sole proprietor, is a resident of Houston, TX.

ABOUT THE ARTISAN GROUP

The Artisan Group® (http://www.theartisangroup.org) is a premier entertainment marketing group dedicated to representing small business artisans at the best celebrity gift lounges and press events. The organization provides a collective sampling of handcrafted products to celebrities and members of the press at top luxury gift lounges such as those leading up to The Academy Awards, The Golden Globes, The MTV Movie Awards and The Primetime Emmys.

The Artisan Group also coordinates product placement of its member’s handcrafted products on such hit television shows as Scandal, The Voice, The Vampire Diaries, Days of Our Lives, The Young & The Restless, Modern Family, Jane The Virgin and Law & Order: SVU, among others. Membership in The Artisan Group is juried and by invitation only.

For press inquiries regarding The Artisan Group, please visit http://www.theartisangroup.org or email press@theartisangroup.org.

* Neither T. Nicole Designs nor The Artisan Group are officially affiliated with The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (The Emmys or The Primetime Emmys).

 

 
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Posted by on September 2, 2016 in Uncategorized, Work Life

 

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Confession is Good for the Soul They Say…

Confession is Good for the Soul They Say…

2015 brought major changes for me as I worked to discover my voice as a designer and create my brand. I put out the first two collections of my designing career, Eclipse & Safari, which was a very scary experience. It wasn’t frightening in the sense that I was worried about them being commercially successful or not; though profitability is always a part of it. I was more so concerned about staying true to my vision for each line and not bowing to the pressure of trendiness; I concerned about designing and crafting a product that was unique and unlike anything else; I was concerned about making high quality pieces that when I stepped back would give me contentment and personal fulfillment, as each and every piece I make has a little bit of my heart and soul in it.
I found that my fears were valid but misplaced. I think every designer, every entrepreneur, that has a passion for their art, faces these same pressures. There’s the frustration of submitting your work, your unique vision to the masses and getting some really positive feedback but that feedback doesn’t equate to sales. Then there’s the times when there’s no feedback at all, neither positive nor negative and you’re left staring at Instagram waiting for the likes to come in, wondering what you’ve done wrong. You begin to question whether or not you’re putting out a good product and if you should chuck it all in the waste bin and focus on your day job. You’re bleary-eyed, depressed and despondent only wanting to be liked on social media and seriously thinking about acquiescing to social media influences, jump on the trend train and make the same mass produced pieces as the big box stores. (No shade implied or intended)
This was me for part of 2015. I had some commercial success. I had my designs featured in a local small boutique in Houston, I had a few discussions with some stylist out of New York but I didn’t see the type of success I really wanted. I got depressed for a few months, I stopped designing, I stopped even wearing my own work. I was in a place of pity and self-loathing. But lucky for me that I have an AWESOME support system of family and incredibly close friends who are prayer warriors and realist who brought me out of my funk with real talk and encouraging words.


I realized I hadn’t failed as a designer, I hadn’t failed as a business owner, I hadn’t failed at anything simply because I made the effort and put myself out there. I had put my heart and soul into my work and put it out for the world to judge; I remembered 2 Timothy 1:7, “God did not give us spirit of timidity but one of power, of love and of self-discipline”. Once I remembered who I was and to whom I belonged, new opportunities came my way. My pieces can now be found not only on my website, T. Nicole Designs but also on BeLuxLife!

So while 2015 was a year of trial and error, learning and faltering, it was a year that I’m grateful for. I learned quite a bit about solidifying my vision and finding my voice as a designer. I learned to be patient with myself, as the kind of success I’m looking for doesn’t come overnight. It is earned through prayer, faithfulness, diligence and fortitude.

It’s perfectly ok to go against the grain because being different is what sets me apart. So I’ll continue to push forward, creating jewelry and accessories that are inspired and unique. Because while everyone else is singing the harmony I’ll be the one belting out a melody all my own. Here’s to a brand new year filled with unforgettable experiences and opportunities for personal and professional growth.

 
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Posted by on January 1, 2016 in Inspiration, Work Life

 

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I’ll Let You In On Something…

Hey my lovelies!!  It is one day closer to Friday and I am elated!!  I have quite a few male friends, most of which I have known for 10+ years, and they all have the same qualms with and/or about women.  They are confounded and irritated by some of our behaviors and ask me time and time again why we do certain things.  So in an effort to demystify the female gender I’ll let you all in a few things.

 

Issues that stupefy men:

1) Why do women carry an extra pair of shoes (flip flops, slides, etc.) with them and only put on their “real” shoes when we get where we’re going?

Have you all seen our shoes!?  No matter how hard designers try women’s high heels (stiletto, wedge or otherwise) are not built for comfort and function, they are built to be beautiful and sexy.  After a while (this varies from person to person) our feet are burning and hurting but we still want to look good, so we endure it.  Therefore we normally will refuse to put on the instruments of our beauty and torment until we absolutely have to.  Just as an FYI a woman is INCREDIBLY comfortable with you if she allows you to see her all dolled up but in her flips… I dare to say she may even like you! 😉

2) Why do women put on their makeup in the car rather than at home?

Ummm… now this one is a bit tricky.  Personally I will don’t wear a whole lot of makeup, power, eyeliner, lips and maybe blush/bronzer but that’s it.  I don’t put on concealer, foundation, eyelashes, etc. on a daily, it just isn’t my thing.  I’m not knocking anyone who does; I just don’t want that kind of maintenance every day.  Nonetheless, I don’t necessarily have a concrete answer for this question.  From time to time if I am running short on time and need to get on the road, then yes, I will do my makeup in the car.  That leads to number three…

3) Why do women ALWAYS leave late?

Enough said!

Enough said!

4) Why do women say “Fine” but bring stuff up later?

This has been posted all over Facebook, Pintrest, etc. but lends more than a kernel of truth.  While not all women prescribe to this, it isn’t far off base.

You've been warned...

You’ve been warned…

 

5) She said she didn’t want anything for Valentine’s Day/her birthday… I didn’t get her anything (or I got her a card) and she’s pissed!  But she said she didn’t want anything…

OK babies, let me help you out here and let you in on something.  Most women (not all) want you to guess or pay attention to the hints that she drops about gifts.  I don’t personally do this, I think it’s immature and childish and it is playing games with people.  But a women will drop hints about what she wants and then eagerly wait for you to have put these in your mental Rolodex and pop up with the one thing she wants the most.

  • Leaving a magazine open in plain view to a certain piece of jewelry or accessory and in a place that is completely out of the ordinary.  Like your car… your side of the bed… the bathroom tub
  • Saying, “I love that *insert any noun here**sigh*
  • “Heather/Tiffany/Jaime/Juanita/Sheila just got *insert any noun here* from Bob/John/Chris/Aaron.  She’s so lucky! (while pouting or casting sideways glances at you)
  • Asking, “What do you think of this?  Isn’t this nice?”  All while showing you something that is of no earthly interest to you and while you are engrossed in a video game or sports.  You normally just grunt and say, “Yea, uh huh” just to get her to get it out of your face.

While this is not an exhaustive list of quandaries, they are the ones that I hear from my guy friends the most.  Maybe this will help some poor man who is having trouble navigating the waters of a relationship and will demystify female behavior.

Blessings and Happiness Always

T. Nicole

 

 

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2014 Walk to Cure Arthritis

Happy Hump Day my lovelies!!

We have reached the middle of yet another work week and I am elated because the weekend, and hopefully some late Saturday morning sleep, awaits me!  My pain levels and lack of sleep due to the RA and related back issues has been off the charts here for the last month or so and shows no signs of abating.  Nonetheless I am pushing through as usual and have created a team for the 2014 Walk to Cure Arthritis in Houston, TX on May 3rd!

We’ve all heard about arthritis, but most of us don’t know that there are 100 forms of arthritis, that more than 50 million Americans have it, or that 300,000 children live with arthritis pain every day. It’s the leading cause of disability in the U.S., and sometimes it’s even deadly.  According to The Arthritis Foundation approximately 1.5 million people in the United States have rheumatoid arthritis (RA)! Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on March 12, 2014 in Inspiration

 

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What Are They Thinking?

Happy Friday my lovelies!!  It is Friday and despite some of the negativity that has gone on this week I refuse to let it get me down.  I am headed home to play with my three dogs and I found this in an email from a former co-worker and it made me laugh.  I don’t know who to attribute this to but I had to share it.  I’m not a fan of cats, I am dog lover myself (Tyson, Lennox and Lola) below but this is hilarious!!

Lenny & TyTy

Lenny & TyTy

Tyson & Lola

Tyson & Lola

Find something to make you smile today and every day.

WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES

Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary…..

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary…

Day 983 of my captivity…

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or
some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless
must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to
disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Idiots.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed
in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could
hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due
to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it
to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The
dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be
more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
safe. For now…

Blessing and Happiness

T. Nicole

 

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