Hey my lovelies!! It is one day closer to Friday and I am elated!! I have quite a few male friends, most of which I have known for 10+ years, and they all have the same qualms with and/or about women. They are confounded and irritated by some of our behaviors and ask me time and time again why we do certain things. So in an effort to demystify the female gender I’ll let you all in a few things.
Issues that stupefy men:
1) Why do women carry an extra pair of shoes (flip flops, slides, etc.) with them and only put on their “real” shoes when we get where we’re going?
Have you all seen our shoes!? No matter how hard designers try women’s high heels (stiletto, wedge or otherwise) are not built for comfort and function, they are built to be beautiful and sexy. After a while (this varies from person to person) our feet are burning and hurting but we still want to look good, so we endure it. Therefore we normally will refuse to put on the instruments of our beauty and torment until we absolutely have to. Just as an FYI a woman is INCREDIBLY comfortable with you if she allows you to see her all dolled up but in her flips… I dare to say she may even like you! 😉
2) Why do women put on their makeup in the car rather than at home?
Ummm… now this one is a bit tricky. Personally I will don’t wear a whole lot of makeup, power, eyeliner, lips and maybe blush/bronzer but that’s it. I don’t put on concealer, foundation, eyelashes, etc. on a daily, it just isn’t my thing. I’m not knocking anyone who does; I just don’t want that kind of maintenance every day. Nonetheless, I don’t necessarily have a concrete answer for this question. From time to time if I am running short on time and need to get on the road, then yes, I will do my makeup in the car. That leads to number three…
3) Why do women ALWAYS leave late?

Enough said!
4) Why do women say “Fine” but bring stuff up later?
This has been posted all over Facebook, Pintrest, etc. but lends more than a kernel of truth. While not all women prescribe to this, it isn’t far off base.

You’ve been warned…
5) She said she didn’t want anything for Valentine’s Day/her birthday… I didn’t get her anything (or I got her a card) and she’s pissed! But she said she didn’t want anything…
OK babies, let me help you out here and let you in on something. Most women (not all) want you to guess or pay attention to the hints that she drops about gifts. I don’t personally do this, I think it’s immature and childish and it is playing games with people. But a women will drop hints about what she wants and then eagerly wait for you to have put these in your mental Rolodex and pop up with the one thing she wants the most.
- Leaving a magazine open in plain view to a certain piece of jewelry or accessory and in a place that is completely out of the ordinary. Like your car… your side of the bed… the bathroom tub
- Saying, “I love that *insert any noun here*… *sigh* “
- “Heather/Tiffany/Jaime/Juanita/Sheila just got *insert any noun here* from Bob/John/Chris/Aaron. She’s so lucky! (while pouting or casting sideways glances at you)
- Asking, “What do you think of this? Isn’t this nice?” All while showing you something that is of no earthly interest to you and while you are engrossed in a video game or sports. You normally just grunt and say, “Yea, uh huh” just to get her to get it out of your face.
While this is not an exhaustive list of quandaries, they are the ones that I hear from my guy friends the most. Maybe this will help some poor man who is having trouble navigating the waters of a relationship and will demystify female behavior.
Blessings and Happiness Always
T. Nicole
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Don’t Put Your Labels On Me – Part II
Here we are yet again… *sigh*
I’ve had multiple instances in the past couple of weeks where someone (in this case WASP / White Anglo Saxon Protestant female manager bolstered by another authoritative WASP woman) automatically assumed I was lying and tried to “catch” me by offering up what they saw as “proof”. I had to write detailed explanations of the circumstances, justify myself and provided my own absolutely irrefutable proof that I was indeed being ethical and truthful from the very beginning. (I.e. I shut this mess down quickly with perfect tact, professionalism and screen grabs.) This was followed by the most insulting five words I’ve heard in recent memory, “Thank you for your honesty.”
Thank you for your honesty?! That insinuates that you assume that everything I say and/or do is fabricated until you feel you have sufficient proof that I’m telling the truth. This coming from the same non-POC people who, when the tables are turned, and I KNOW that non-POC has glaringly lied through their perfectly veneered teeth, tell me to “assume positive intent” or that I “misunderstood” what they said/did/asked/instructed/demanded. I am positive that it was intended to make me out a thief of time, a fabricator of salacious falsehoods and unethical to boot. Nothing there to misunderstand.
To compound all of this and add insult to injury, the earlier exchange is later followed by a backhanded compliment of a recorded WebEx presentation I did 3-4 weeks ago saying, “… it was very professional and easy to follow. I was very impressed with your presentation skills…”. There again are the micro aggressions.
It is automatically ASSumed that we are lying. It is automatically ASSumed that, despite our experience and education, we don’t have the same or better skill set than our white counterparts. And when we prove we ARE telling the truth and we DO have the knowledge and expertise, they are “impressed” with our professionalism and presentation skills. You ASSume because of my milk chocolate hued skin, my Afrocentric name and my love of head wraps that I couldn’t possibly be poised and polished and able to lead, teach, and inform the masses, let alone the white masses. I have to prove to you beyond what is expected of my white counterparts that I AM and that I CAN.
This is what it is to be black in Corporate America. This is what it is to be black in America, period.
#staywoke #resist #DiaryOfAMadBlackProfessionalWoman
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Posted by grahamcrackercrumbs09 on October 21, 2017 in Social Commentary, Work Life
Tags: Corporate America, Culture, Diary of a Mad Black Professional Woman, Life, Micro Aggressions, Opinion, Race, racism, Reflections, Resist, Social, Social Commentary, Stay Woke, Tanesha Graham, Work, work life, Working While Black