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Easter PSA

We are at the halfway mark of Holy Week and there is something that has stuck in my craw for years.  It’s time for another PSA/ “Grinds My Gears”segment.

*Drags soapbox to the middle of the room, steps up and taps mic*

Excuse me, excuse me.  May I have your attention please?

As you all gear up for Easter/Resurrection Sunday and are buying all these pastel colored dresses, Steve Harvey suits, hats, and finery, it grinds my gears when some of you people randomly do stuff  and accept things just because they are in popular culture.  Here’s a biology lesson just case you all didn’t know, rabbits/hares/bunnies DON’T lay eggs.  Never in the history of the world has a rabbit or rabbit-related organism laid a multicolored, painted, glitterfied chicken egg.  Not the Cadbury Bunny, not Bugs Bunny, no daggone bunny lays eggs!

When The Lord rose from the grave and the stone was rolled away there was not a bunny sitting at the threshold with the angel waiting to announce His resurrection.  There wasn’t a rabbit there pooping out colored hard-boiled eggs and jelly beans on top of pink plastic grass.

Just as a bit of history for you, chicken eggs were dyed red by early Christians in Mesopotamia to symbolize the blood of Jesus shed on Calvary. The shell represents the tomb of Christ and the breaking of the shell a symbolic representation of his breaking the chains of death.  The Easter egg custom was adopted by the Catholic Church in 1610 A.D. by Pope Paul V.  We as Christians can see the egg as a symbol of resurrection as the egg contains new life within it. How this morphed into adults hiding cooked eggs that were dyed the night before while watching the Ten Commandments is beyond me.  Hiding eggs in the grass, trees, bushes, under cars, etc. has to be one of the stupidest things I have seen.  Kids are fighting and pushing each other out of the way to get an egg that you know they won’t even eat, it will decay in a plastic basket next to pink and blue marshmallow Peeps that will NEVER decay.  You know that at least one of those eggs won’t be found and less than a week later as it rots in the sun, just out of sight, you will be complaining about a sulfur smell and dumbfounded as to where it is coming from.  I have no issue with Easter eggs as long as you understand and explain to kids the symbolism behind it.

To do something, anything for that matter, just because it has always been done (tradition), just because, and/or without the right context is off putting and asinine.

Your ignorance is showing, tuck it back in, nobody wants or needs to see that.

And that my lovelies is what grinds my gears!

*drops mic, climbs down off soapbox, places a purple dyed egg covered in glitter on the ground and exits stage right*

Even the bunny is confused...

Even the bunny is confused…

easter-bunny-2

Food for Thought

T. Nicole

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A Little Sunday Levity

Happy Sunday my Lovelies!

I know it’s been a minute since I’ve posted and I promise I have some get ones coming. But for today I think this will suffice and give a little bit of levity to this Sunday morning. Growing up Jack Prelutsky was one of my favorite poets even alongside Maya Angelou, Walt Whitman and the classics. I was a strange child who love the library more than anyplace else and read Roots during my 5th grade Spring Break… Don’t judge me!! LOL

    Little Bird Outside My Window

Jack Prelutsky

Little bird outside my window,
I can hear you in my room
as you gaily serenade me
and eradicate the gloom.

Your chirping is the sweetest
that my ears have ever heard,
it awakens me each morning –
zip your beak up, little bird!

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Raising a Baptist Finger

I started this particular blog post on Sunday but the WordPress app on my Kindle deleted EVERYTHING I had saved locally the minute I connected to a wifi network!!!!  I was beyond pissed off and irritated so I am forced to recollect what I wrote in its entirety.  My plucky nature knows no bounds and I am the first to admit that I’m glad that I don’t always say the first thing that comes to mind.  However it does bear stating that I am guilty of not exactly being able to hide my contempt and disdain for certain things, much as I may try… ok, so I don’t exactly try a lot of times… Don’t judge me!! LOL

As temps reach into the mid-high 80’s with a heat index in the 90’s in many parts of the country people are reaching into the back of their closets and bringing out their lighter clothing.  I must tell you that a good many of these choices should have stayed in the archives; it wasn’t right last season and nothing about the passage of this past year has made it any more appropriate.  My fashion PSAs have covered just about every situation and locale except church.  Some of y’all will say I’m going to hell for this post and that God said come as you are.  The latter of these is true, He did same come as you are but He also wants things done decent and in order.  Some of the clothing choices made are neither decent nor in any semblance of order!!    Black, White, Purple, Polka Dotted or otherwise this applies to anyone going to any church in any country on the face of the planet.  Whether you go to church on Friday, Sunday, Thursday, Saturday or mid-week services, this applies to you.

  1.  First and foremost, for the love of the fashion gods, just because they make it in your size does not mean you should buy it, let alone wear it!!  This should go without saying but EVERY Sunday I see folks who have poured their size 16 self into a size 12.  I am beautifully curvaceous and love it but you will NEVER catch me wearing anything a size too small.  I will buy it larger and have it tailored.
  2. Pantyhose with open-toed shoes… This is a no-no ladies….
  3.  Pantyhose with runs that go from your ankle up to your thigh, then you try to cover it with a prayer cloth…  You cannot put pantyhose on a cactus and not expect them to end up looking like a game of Donkey Kong!  I personally feel it is too damn hot to wear pantyhose but do you boo boo, do you.
  4.  Bodyshapers, Spanx, are a requirement under unlined skirts and dresses.  When you come to the alter for prayer your behind should not look like two pigs fighting under a blanket.
  5. Hats are great, I am a fan of and own quite a few: sunhats, Bowlers, Fedoras (my personal fav), Pageboys, and caps, whatever.  Your hat should not block 2-3 rows of parishioners behind you nor should it be able to be spotted via satellite on Google Maps.
  6. Men please stop wearing colored linen with matching shoes.
  7. Tighty Whities are not appropriate underwear under linen… if you have doubts or questions about what is please consult with the women in your life… it can be your mother for all I care as long as she doesn’t also have questionable taste as well.

I have yet to grace the public with a questionable or less than stellar ensemble.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not so vain as to say that the most important thing about going to church is what you have on.  No, I’m just saying that the randomness and foolishness that comes through the door detracts from what we should be focusing on.

Just because you are in God’s house doesn’t exempt you from being decent!!  LMBO!!  Y’all know I am my own special breed of special!!

Blessings and Happiness

T. Nicole

 

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Salacious Sunday

Happy Sunday my Lovelies!

I have been in rare form these past couple of weeks and see no reason why today should be any different.  I have been scandalously naughty and still need to post “Stuff I Got In Trouble for Saying This Week- The Travel Edition” from my road trip to Louisiana this past week.  But in keeping with my salacious and jovial mood I give you The Harlem Shake!!

Y’all know how much I ADORE Jo Koy so I just had to include his Harlem Shake skit! Enjoy and make your own Harlem Shake moment.

Harlem Shake Compilation

Jo Koy – Harlem Shake Skit

Blessings and Happiness Always

T. Nicole

 

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Super Bowl Sunday: The Day That Most Married Women Dread

Happy Sunday my Loveliest!

Forgive me for not having posted regularly since my last post, I am down with the flu but couldn’t let today pass without a “Grinds My Gears” segment.

Today is Super Bowl Sunday, the Holy Grail football, the most holy and sacred of days for football lovers and finatics. (Yes, I realize that this is a bit blasphemous buy stick with me, I’m going somewhere :-P)  Church services will have a skeleton crew and be very short today, patient care at the hospital may not be as diligent as it normally would be, grocery stores will be packed and the liquor/alcohol aisle will be overstocked because of those folks who didn’t hit up Spec’s or Fiesta Liquor on yesterday! (Texas is dry on that hard liquor and spirits cannot be sold on grocery stores or on Sundays)
Read the rest of this entry »

 

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Super Bowl Sunday: The Day That Most Married Women Dread

Happy Sunday my Loveliest!

Forgive me for not having posted regularly since my last post, I am down with the flu but couldn’t let today pass without a “Grinds My Gears” segment.

Today is Super Bowl Sunday, the Holy Grail football, the most holy and sacred of days for football lovers and finatics. (Yes, I realize that this is a bit blasphemous buy stick with me, I’m going somewhere :-P)  Church services will have a skeleton crew and be very short today, patient care at the hospital may not be as diligent as it normally would be, grocery stores will be packed and the liquor/alcohol aisle will be overstocked because of those folks who didn’t hit up Spec’s or Fiesta Liquor on yesterday! (Texas is dry on that hard liquor and spirits cannot be sold on grocery stores or on Sundays)
Read the rest of this entry »

 

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Sunday Church Humor

And now we will have a congregational hymn…

Blessings and Happiness Always
T. Nicole

 
1 Comment

Posted by on September 9, 2012 in Random Thoughts and Humor

 

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