RSS

Tag Archives: Reflections

Stay In Your Lane

 

      When does the status quo become a bore to you?  When does the same routine day in and day out become monotonous and you finally say that enough is enough? It has been said that the only constant thing in life is change.  I couldn’t tell you who said it, why they said it or when, but it definitely rings true. Life is a series of hills and valleys, ups and downs, periods of joy and sadness.  Have you ever watched the Olympics Track and Field competition?  I don’t mean the 100 m or 400 m, hurdles or high jump; there is an event called the Steeplechase. It is a 3000 meter race where each lap has four barriers and one water jump at the back-end of it.  Each runner has to complete 7 laps, meaning they have to clear 28 barriers and seven water jumps.  The barriers do not fall over if the runner hits them and they are able to get over the barrier by any means; stepping on top of them, jumping over them, however they cannot negotiate them by going around them.

      The athletes have to focus on what is ahead and be aware of the other runners in relation to where they are.  Life is just like the steeplechase; we are all running the race together and face some of the same obstacles and barriers in life, but each of us approach them differently.  In knowing where you are in relation to others, you may be inspired by the way that someone else prevailed and choose to try your own variation of their method as an alternative to yours.  However, you cannot pay too much attention to the other runners.  You cast sideways glances at them and know that each of us runs our race at a pace.  We focus too much on the circumstances and situations in our lives, when we should be more concerned with how to surmount them and move forward in life.  How can you effectively run this race if you are so busy worrying about the person in the lane next to you or 3 lanes over?  How will you see the turn ahead if you are telling the ref how to do their job?

     Stay in your lane, run the race that God has placed you in.  The race is different for all of us; we have different barriers to navigate and various difficulties to overcome.  At each turn a hurdle presents itself and if we stop at the issue, the problem, the situation, we will be left behind in life.  We will be unable to get to the end goal, the finish line, where God waits with our laurels, our crowns and the words, “Well done my good and faithful servant”.  The same blockade may present itself more than once, but look at it as maybe you didn’t handle it right the first time.  Instead of trying to go around it, face it head on.  You may have to climb instead of jump; Step on and over, using it as a platform to catapult yourself forward, rather than vaulting over it.  I stay in my lane and use God’s Word to face my fears and to bring me through.  Maybe someone will cast a sideways glance during their race and see that my plan for overcoming, prayer and devotion to God, may help them. 

Athletes compete in the Women’s 3000m Steeplechase Heats at the National Stadium
Stu Forster / Getty Images

 Blessings and Happiness

T. Nicole

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

A Little Sage Advise

     I talked to my mom this morning  (I try to talk to my mom at least once a day, but life happens at times and it may go down to once a week, but we do text) and she told me something that has sat with me most of the day.  I was recounting to her that people’s reactions to my blog and/or tweets surprises me.  I don’t write things purposely to get people to read or pay any attention to me; I write because it is cathartic to me, it makes me happy and it gives me an avenue to voice all of those things that are in my head on a day-to-day basis.  It amazes me that people are helped by what I write, that people take notice of little ol’ me.  The gift of the pen is one that I have had since I was a kid.  I can write papers, poetry, short stories, etc. without much effort at all on my part. 
Read the rest of this entry »

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Let It Rain

     Life brings all kinds of circumstances, experiences, people and can be the source of joy, love, contentment, strife, grief and anger. I was not in a good place on yesterday, life happened and although I put on a strong face most days, it gets to be a bit too much some days and my heart is heavy.  So on the way to the office I was singing to myself and began to cry out of pure frustration, solitude and grief for what my life used to be.  Houston saw rain on yesterday, which meant traffic snarls, irate drivers, slick roads and humidity that even Vidal Sassoon hairspray couldn’t withstand.  Read the rest of this entry »

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

So Much To Do, So Little Time

     I am so late posting this week. Somehow I let life get the best of me and I pushed those things I love to the wayside.  There is so much going on in my head.  Countless thoughts, inspirations and ideas that need to be given life and purpose, but I don’t know where to find the time to do it all.  There is a second business to get off the ground, two books to work on, a non-profit to create on paper then establish, added to that is my regular life, ( marriage, family, work, church, health, and somewhere in there I have to find time for me).

     Please don’t take this as me complaining, as I take great joy in my work and feel fulfilled when I can cross one more thing off of my life’s to-do list.  I have been blessed with the gift of writing and am certain that in doing what I am passionate about, I am not only honing my craft but also actually ministering to and nourishing my soul.  So my Lovelies keep your open as great things are on the horizon!

Blessings and Happiness

T. Nicole

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

I Love Someone More Than I Love You…

Hello my Lovelies!  

Something was dropped in my spirit late last night and I couldn’t rest until I put it on paper.    

     I come across people going in and out of bad relationships, carrying baggage around with them until you can’t see them for the issues that they have.  The most common is of course the old adage, “You caused me to have low self-esteem!”  This is where my sympathetic ear turns jaded and I have to lay some things on the table and be real.  This may hurt someone’s feelings, this may cause you to say that I am wrong and how could I even think that way, but know that the truth is the truth, rather you choose to believe it or not.

     With every relationship, whether it be a friendship, familial bonds or romantic in nature (this includes “friends with benefits”- The most asinine of them all) emotions are always involved.  This whole notion of being able to be in a relationship with someone without any attachments is people deluding themselves.  Human beings are emotional creatures; we thrive on interaction, love and fulfillment of purpose.  We have emotional tidal waves at the hint of weddings, births, deaths, commencements and the reaching of milestones.  We anxiously await the day, the hour, the minute that our partner says those three words, “What time’s dinner?”… I jest; the words are “I love you”.  It makes us feel complete and adored and emotionally vested in the relationship.  But when good goes to bad and you begin to be mistreated (this goes for guys and ladies alike) the first words out of your mouth are, “He/she treats me so bad. But I know that he/she loves me and I him/her…”  Then you start to make excuses for the aforementioned bad behavior.  Here’s the truth I was talking about earlier:  You DO NOT make excuses for someone’s mistreatment of you, you DO NOT tolerate being treated less than; doing so makes you an enabler.  For the most part mistreatment of someone generally stems from one of two places, insecurity on their part and/or control issues, both of which show a lack of self-worth.  Otherwise why would it make you feel good to mistreat and/or control someone?  If I’m talking about you say “Ouch”. 

     Then the “You ruined my self-esteem” comment rears its ugly head and you are laying the fault for your lack of self-worth at someone else’s feet.  No, pick that up and place the blame exactly where it belongs, back on you.  Self-esteem is just that… the admiration and regard you feel for yourself.  How you feel about you should not be predicated on someone’s feelings or lack thereof for or about you, nor should it be centered on those things in life that are fleeting ( situations, circumstances, people, places, things).  The respect you have for yourself comes from a place of joy and contentment in your accomplishments, in how you view yourself in relation to what you want from life.  Don’t get me wrong, life is full of heartache and disappointments and I’m the first to admit that being a little depressed when things don’t go the way you would have hoped, is completely ok.  But don’t let that keep you in a place of despair and affect the way you see yourself.  When you are stuck in a place where you know that you are not being treated right, in a place where you don’t feel comforted and secure and you say that you love the other person… take a second to think, who do you love more, them or you?  This helped me once upon a time and I hope that you will take the lyrics to heart and do a little introspection.

Blessings and Happiness

T. Nicole

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Confession is Good for the Soul They Say…

     Hello my Dahlins!  This past weekend was so hectic that I didn’t have a change to post they way I would have wanted and yesterday was absolutely HELL for me!  In order to answer they why it was hell for me, I will have to unburden my soul it would seem and make a teeny confession… more than one confession in reality.  My confession is this my Lovelies: I laugh, I giggle, I approach the not so great things in life with at least a bit of levity and have a sarcastic and caustic sense of humor at times.  Am I funny? Maybe, if you say so, but a portion of my humor comes from a place of pain.  The truth of it is that my health seems to fail me at times. I am coming up on the anniversary of year ago when I ended up in the hospital fighting for my life, and so comes a time for reflection and thanks that I am here to even write any of this.  This blog, my blog, is an attempt to channel all of the words that I want to say but at times don’t have the voice to publish; and maybe, just maybe, it would help someone going through the same things or something similar.
Read the rest of this entry »

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

“The Alphabet Game”

     Today has been a rough day for me, to say the very least.  This week in general has been one that has tested my patience to the inth degree. Something happened to me today that caused me to take a step back, a moment of self-reflection and compiling a persona inventory of sorts.  This “thing”, action, occurrence, for the lack of a better term, shook me to my foundation and made me question my self-worth, my ability to function in a professional capacity even.  And I know that it shouldn’t have affected me the way it did, I am stronger and better than that.  As a matter of fact I have a sign posted in my cubicle to remind me on those days when it all seems to be too much that I can do and be better.

     I have done several spiritual inventories before but this time I think it is time for a personal one. Read the rest of this entry »

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Don’t Start None, Won’t Be None!

I am vocal, jovial and animated around those whom I am comfortable with. For everyone else I am quite reserved as I am observing and calculating whether or not it is a good idea to be the me that everyone else is accustomed to. Don’t get me wrong, I am always me, day in, day out, I will remain true to who I am. I just have a filter, some people get 20%, some get 50%, very few can handle much more than that!

That being said, tonight was sister time with my lovely lil’ sis/bestie. Of course being the fashionista that she is, Erica showed up looking casually fab! ( I was underwhelmed by my own work attire of khaki and denim, but I digress.) While enjoying drinks, each others company and conversation with a random oil rig worker from Canada, I eyed an old a#$ man, old enough to damn near be her grandfather eyeballing her, all while his wife was looking at her phone!! I looked at him looking at her and went into protective sister mode. His wife looked up and tried to cover up his creepy lurking by commenting on my sissy’s tattoo and attire. This set his wife off and this broad had the unmitigated gaul to start talking trash about MY sister!! Oh hell naw!!

This is where my filter went from 50% to 100% and she got the full brunt of who I can be! I unceremoniously told her to shut up talking about my family. I kindly informed her that she needed to check her husband, who was eye-banging my sis while she was busy looking at her phone, rather than making unfounded, ignorant and slanderous comments about my sister. (Alcohol had nothing to do with me confronting her, I protect mine sober or not)

The moral of the story my lovelies is this: Don’t think just because we are pretty and genial and laugh with people we meet at random that we will simply let anyone talk unmerited smack about us. We are ladies first so we won’t fight you physically, nor will we make a scene in public; but be prepared for a verbal assault if you are in the wrong. If you don’t start none, there won’t be none!

Blessings and Happiness

T. Nicole

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Emerging As a New Me

Anyone who really knows me knows that I am random. I can be easily distracted by squirrels, puppies and butterflies, drawn to their seemingly random patterns and actions.  Something that my mom and I have in common is our love of birds and butterflies.  I adore butterflies, I will stop everything that I am doing to marvel at their magnificent hues and delicate nature. My sister and I share an affinity for many things, seafood, wine, happy hours and the occasional tattoo. Several months ago we went to our favorite tattoo parlor, The Electric Chair, for late night sister time.  While there we both got inspirational tattoos, hers was words of faith, mine was a butterfly.  Read the rest of this entry »

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Joys of Being A Big Sis

I hear so many horror stories from friends, co-workers, Facebook folks about having siblings, specifically younger siblings.  I know personally siblings that literally don’t talk to each other, not even via social media and it is sad to see honestly.  The bonds between siblings are inexplicable, indescribable and at times infuriating and frustrating to say the least.  However I wouldn’t change my role as a Big Sis for anything in the world.  It is my job to keep the younger ones from tripping into the same pitfalls that I fell into, give them advise how to deal with the parental units and protect them from all the bad things that can happen in life.  I don’t always succeed, sometimes they do the same things that I did, don’t quite navigate the waters of life without running aground, and sometimes I can’t protect them the way I would have hoped.  At times I feel like a failure as the oldest, but then I get a text or a call or an IM asking me for my opinion or help and my lack of self-worth bounces back.
Read the rest of this entry »

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

 
%d bloggers like this: