Tag Archives: Random Thoughts

The Fallacy and Fairytale of Security in America

The Fallacy and Fairytale of Security in America

No where is safe when you look like me

There’s no safety in our homes, ask Botham Jean and Breonna Taylor 

No safety in our cars, ask Philando Castille

No safety at the corner store;  We’re followed and watched, criminalized based on the hue of our skin

No safety in well-lit places

No safety in broad daylight; ask George Floyd and Ahmaud Arbery

No safety when peacefully protesting

No safety when the cameras are recording; they laugh and yell and taunt

Never any safety in the dark

No safety can even be found within our own skin

When we attempt to create safe spaces we lull ourselves into a false sense of security as those spaces are invaded, violated and stolen right before our eyes

Even in my meditation where there is only me… there is no safety to be found, no matter the attempt at mindfulness.


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My Randomness Is Showing

Yet another work week down and I’m excitingly looking forward to the time when I bolt out of the door like it’s the last day of school!

With so much going on in the news it’s hard to find the good in life.  With our daughters being kidnapped and sold into slavery, world powers at odds and unemployment just over 6% (which is actually a good thing, it’s down from 6.7% to 6.3%), it has become increasingly difficult to smile and laugh and find joy in the small things of life.  So, in an effort to add a bit of levity to all the depressing occurrences in the world, I present to you Banana Joe of “The Amazing World of Gumball” from Cartoon Network.

Enjoy and find something to smile about today!

Blessings and Happiness ALWAYS

T. Nicole



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I’ll Let You In On Something…

Hey my lovelies!!  It is one day closer to Friday and I am elated!!  I have quite a few male friends, most of which I have known for 10+ years, and they all have the same qualms with and/or about women.  They are confounded and irritated by some of our behaviors and ask me time and time again why we do certain things.  So in an effort to demystify the female gender I’ll let you all in a few things.


Issues that stupefy men:

1) Why do women carry an extra pair of shoes (flip flops, slides, etc.) with them and only put on their “real” shoes when we get where we’re going?

Have you all seen our shoes!?  No matter how hard designers try women’s high heels (stiletto, wedge or otherwise) are not built for comfort and function, they are built to be beautiful and sexy.  After a while (this varies from person to person) our feet are burning and hurting but we still want to look good, so we endure it.  Therefore we normally will refuse to put on the instruments of our beauty and torment until we absolutely have to.  Just as an FYI a woman is INCREDIBLY comfortable with you if she allows you to see her all dolled up but in her flips… I dare to say she may even like you! 😉

2) Why do women put on their makeup in the car rather than at home?

Ummm… now this one is a bit tricky.  Personally I will don’t wear a whole lot of makeup, power, eyeliner, lips and maybe blush/bronzer but that’s it.  I don’t put on concealer, foundation, eyelashes, etc. on a daily, it just isn’t my thing.  I’m not knocking anyone who does; I just don’t want that kind of maintenance every day.  Nonetheless, I don’t necessarily have a concrete answer for this question.  From time to time if I am running short on time and need to get on the road, then yes, I will do my makeup in the car.  That leads to number three…

3) Why do women ALWAYS leave late?

Enough said!

Enough said!

4) Why do women say “Fine” but bring stuff up later?

This has been posted all over Facebook, Pintrest, etc. but lends more than a kernel of truth.  While not all women prescribe to this, it isn’t far off base.

You've been warned...

You’ve been warned…


5) She said she didn’t want anything for Valentine’s Day/her birthday… I didn’t get her anything (or I got her a card) and she’s pissed!  But she said she didn’t want anything…

OK babies, let me help you out here and let you in on something.  Most women (not all) want you to guess or pay attention to the hints that she drops about gifts.  I don’t personally do this, I think it’s immature and childish and it is playing games with people.  But a women will drop hints about what she wants and then eagerly wait for you to have put these in your mental Rolodex and pop up with the one thing she wants the most.

  • Leaving a magazine open in plain view to a certain piece of jewelry or accessory and in a place that is completely out of the ordinary.  Like your car… your side of the bed… the bathroom tub
  • Saying, “I love that *insert any noun here**sigh*
  • “Heather/Tiffany/Jaime/Juanita/Sheila just got *insert any noun here* from Bob/John/Chris/Aaron.  She’s so lucky! (while pouting or casting sideways glances at you)
  • Asking, “What do you think of this?  Isn’t this nice?”  All while showing you something that is of no earthly interest to you and while you are engrossed in a video game or sports.  You normally just grunt and say, “Yea, uh huh” just to get her to get it out of your face.

While this is not an exhaustive list of quandaries, they are the ones that I hear from my guy friends the most.  Maybe this will help some poor man who is having trouble navigating the waters of a relationship and will demystify female behavior.

Blessings and Happiness Always

T. Nicole



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What Are They Thinking?

Happy Friday my lovelies!!  It is Friday and despite some of the negativity that has gone on this week I refuse to let it get me down.  I am headed home to play with my three dogs and I found this in an email from a former co-worker and it made me laugh.  I don’t know who to attribute this to but I had to share it.  I’m not a fan of cats, I am dog lover myself (Tyson, Lennox and Lola) below but this is hilarious!!

Lenny & TyTy

Lenny & TyTy

Tyson & Lola

Tyson & Lola

Find something to make you smile today and every day.


Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary…..

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary…

Day 983 of my captivity…

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or
some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless
must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to
disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Idiots.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed
in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could
hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due
to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it
to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The
dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be
more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
safe. For now…

Blessing and Happiness

T. Nicole


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Where’s the Remote?!

Happy Hump Day my lovelies!!

There is something that has been irking me for a long, long time and dagnabbit it is time for another “Grinds My Gears” segment.  I’m sure some people will blast me and voice their ire over me posting this but whatever! LOL

It grinds my gears to see all of these feminine hygiene commercials.  Don’t get me wrong, I am a very much a woman and I know and understand that issues are had.  I know that there is a market for tampons, pads, odor spray, feminine wash, etc.  But damn it enough is enough!  Some of these are just too much!  Some random confounded actress saying that she didn’t know that sex and soap could throw off her pH balance (why her mother never told her these things is beyond me) and  Summer’s Eve© using the slogan “Power to the V” throw me off.

I think it’s sexist at the very least.  Why?  Because not once in my lifetime have I ever seen a man come onto my TV screen, sitting in his favorite recliner or lounging comfortably on the couch, and begin to whisper to the camera in a hushed 2nd Tenor voice that he is having testicular issues.  That he has some itching or odor or chaffing that is noticeable and uncomfortable and that he uses “Chaff-Away” for those “Not-So-Fresh” moments.

Some of these commercials are so absurd that even Saturday Night Live got in on this one, as you can see below for yourself.

And that my lovelies, is what grinds my gears!! LMAO

SNL: Autumn’s Even Pumpkin Spice Douche


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New Year… Same Me…

Happy New Year Lovebugs!!

2014 is well underway and as is the ritual and custom the social media stratosphere is abuzz with New Year’s Resolutions… “I’m going to start and/or stop [insert any number of verbs here]” and come February or as late as March, the majority of the resolutions that people have made about who they will become and the things they will or won’t do will be covered with the dust of ages and gathering cobwebs.  I don’t know what it is about the New Year that makes us delude ourselves into thinking that we will be wholly different creature come January 1 then we were on December 31st.  Don’t get me twisted; sometimes we make changes, intensely personal changes that aren’t driven by societal pressures but solely due to a personal revelation and evolution.  But change takes time and effort and a continuous redirection of attentions to achieve it.

As for me, it is a new year and I’m the same me but with a few tweaks here and there.  I can’t change people, the things they say or do or make them into the person I wish they were; nor will I change myself into who will make them comfortable.  I can only change and control how I react.  So this isn’t a New Year’s Resolution, it is simply a promise that I’m making to myself.

I resolve to let go of what others think of me and how I live my life, especially those who mean me absolutely no good… I resolve to continue to surround myself with those who are smarter and more driven then I am, I can learn from them and them from me… I resolve to cultivate those relationships that may have fallen to the wayside… I resolve to me a better me for me and no one else.  I’ve found that as I have made changes to myself over the years, there have been those around me who are uncomfortable with my growth and haven’t accepted it well. It is doubtful that those people are reading this blog post because I had no choice but to leave them where they were and push forward.  But for those who may read this and feel that you fall into the aforementioned category, one of my favorite artists Jill Scott said it best…

Hate on me hater, now or later

‘Cause I’m gonna do me, you’ll be mad, baby

Go ‘head and hate on me, hater, I’m not afraid of

What I got I paid for, you can hate on me

Blessings and Happiness Now & ALWAYS

T. Nicole


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Your Word Ain’t …

It’s been a while since I have stood up on my soapbox, grabbed a mic and put people on notice. I have had this one brewing for a long while so it is time for yet another combination Public Service Announcement and Grinds My Gears segment.

*Steps up to mic, taps and tests for sound*

*Clears throat*

Excuse me, Excuse me. Can I have your attention please? This isn’t directed at anyone in particular but if this PSA/Grinds My Gears segment hits home for you then maybe, just maybe, you need to do a self-examination.

If you know that your word ain’t sh@# stop telling folks that you are going to do stuff!! You know good and full well that you have absolutely no intention of doing/saying/giving/writing (insert any verb you like here) what you have promised. Yet you have the unmitigated gall to tell/text/Facebook Message/Yahoo Message/Instant Message/smoke signal/Bat Signal people things that you say you will do, and then get offended and all huffy when they ask you why you didn’t do it! (This is of course after the deadline that YOU said you would fulfill this “promise” in has long since passed from annoying into that awkward I’m-not-sure-if-I-should-say-anything phase).

Now, I’m not referring to if you promise or say that you will do something and you forget due to work, school or just life in general. This is for those of you who on a consistent basis say that you will do something and just flat out don’t do it, and you KNOW you won’t do it.

You know your word ain’t sh@#!

And because we care for you, we, your adoring public, keep giving you the benefit of the doubt and delude ourselves by saying, “Maybe this time will be different”. What adds insult to injury is that we normally don’t even ask you for anything (usually because that little voice in our head tells us that it is stupid to do so), you volunteer to do things!!

Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! We will respect you more if you just keep your mouth shut. Don’t volunteer for stuff, don’t promise you will (*insert action verb here*), don’t say that you’ll be at… (*insert location here*).  We are tired of your bs, your excuses, and your funky attitude when you are called on the carpet. Folks are just going to stop fooling with you altogether if you don’t cut it out!

Do Better!

*Kicks over mic stand and exits stage left*


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I Did No Such Thing…

Happy Friday my Lovelies!! Another work week is drawing to a very, very slow close and so has my first semester of doctoral work!! It’s been rough but I eked out decent showing given the extenuating circumstances. As I reflect on a milestone passed I have to address an irritation and common misconception about those of us who are students and lovers of Psychology.

Every time someone finds out that I am currently a Psychology student, that my undergrad degree is in Psychology, that my MBA focus was in Organizational Psych and Development I get accused of conducting psychoanalysis on folks!! This is BEYOND irritatin, it grinds my gears and I know I am not alone in this. Here’s a Public Service Announcement and one of my “Grinds My Gears” segments all rolled into one…

Read the rest of this entry »


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A Little Sunday Levity

Happy Sunday my Lovelies!

I know it’s been a minute since I’ve posted and I promise I have some get ones coming. But for today I think this will suffice and give a little bit of levity to this Sunday morning. Growing up Jack Prelutsky was one of my favorite poets even alongside Maya Angelou, Walt Whitman and the classics. I was a strange child who love the library more than anyplace else and read Roots during my 5th grade Spring Break… Don’t judge me!! LOL

    Little Bird Outside My Window

Jack Prelutsky

Little bird outside my window,
I can hear you in my room
as you gaily serenade me
and eradicate the gloom.

Your chirping is the sweetest
that my ears have ever heard,
it awakens me each morning –
zip your beak up, little bird!




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The Freedom to be Restrained

Happy Sunday my Lovelies! 

The 4th of July holiday weekend is coming to a close and some  inconsiderate people in my neighborhood still shooting off fireworks at 2 AM!  Let them tell it they are free to do whatever they want, whenever they want, as long as they are not physically harming anyone.  It never ceases to amaze me how people in general feel and think that their wants, desires and personal freedom to do as they please trumps the personal liberties of others.  That these rights are ingrained and owed to them by birth.  I have had this blog posting brewing in my head for quite a while and have been waiting for the right time to unleash it upon you, the unsuspecting public.  On the 4th seemed too cliché and not the right time to stand on my soap box.  Today however is more mellow and I normally post off the wall things on a Sundays, so here goes.

Time and time again we as people, human beings, force our will upon others in the name of many things: God, religion (which is wholly separate from God), work, politics, etc.  We, as His creation, were endowed with the gift of free will.  We have the ability to choose exactly what we want to do and not do, go and not go within our preconceived boundaries.  In America we have more liberty and freedom than most across the globe, freedoms and liberties granted and guaranteed to us by The Constitution.  Yet some of us take advantage of these noble and fragile freedoms and take liberties that border on offensive and then hide behind the protection of said Constitution. 

Recent memory recalls the POTUS being called a monkey, a derisive and pejorative term that sickens me, and the perpetrator and those who agreed with and propagated the usage, hid behind the First Amendment.  I was raised in a way that said that even though I may not like the person who holds the office, I will respect the office itself.  I couldn’t stand Bush or anything he did or stood for, however he was my President and I respected him as such.  The disheartening thing is that people feel that it is their God-given right to say whatever they want, that just by being born they are ingrained with the ability to do as they see fit.  Not so!  The freedoms that they espouse are in no way free, they are not doled out just because you were born in or live in this country or its territories.  Many, many, many people have laid down and died just for the notion of freedom, never experiencing it themselves.  Go to any other non-democratic country and spew off some of the caustic, disrespectful and asinine things that you say and do and see if those same freedoms you hide behind are still in force.  You will end up disappearing, never to be seen or heard from again.  If I see one more “Sceed” bumper sticker I literally might pitch a fit on the freeway!  Take a page from our country’s history and that of other nations when they chose to pull away from the union. All those things that you take for granted: driving on paved and maintained roads, eating cereal on Saturday morning, PBS, Unemployment Insurance, Medicare, Medicaid, county hospitals that won’t turn you away when you can’t afford private private care for non-emergent issues, travel to other countries with the protection of the Consulate, will be no more.  Only then will you realize and appreciate that which you dogged so vehemently.

I love my country and honor and respect those who served, fought and died so that I can write this.  My great grandparents weren’t born with the right to vote, to hold property, to speak in public, to rally against the system that told them that they were less than.  They weren’t even considered people, they were chattel per the same Constitution that says that I do and can have all of those things they longed for,  My grandparents didn’t even always have the right to vote and feared Jim Crow more than the enemy himself and his minions.  Respect that your rights, the freedom that you enjoy and flout, is coated with the the blood and sorrow of those who wished they could partake of the same;  And tinged with the hopes and dreams of those who are fighting right now just to have a choice and a say in how they live their lives.

I’m off my soapbox now and will pack it away… until next time that is…

Blessings and Happiness Always

T. Nicole

Blessings and Happiness

T. Nicole


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