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The Fallacy and Fairytale of Security in America

The Fallacy and Fairytale of Security in America

No where is safe when you look like me

There’s no safety in our homes, ask Botham Jean and Breonna Taylor 

No safety in our cars, ask Philando Castille

No safety at the corner store;  We’re followed and watched, criminalized based on the hue of our skin

No safety in well-lit places

No safety in broad daylight; ask George Floyd and Ahmaud Arbery

No safety when peacefully protesting

No safety when the cameras are recording; they laugh and yell and taunt

Never any safety in the dark

No safety can even be found within our own skin

When we attempt to create safe spaces we lull ourselves into a false sense of security as those spaces are invaded, violated and stolen right before our eyes

Even in my meditation where there is only me… there is no safety to be found, no matter the attempt at mindfulness.

 

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Running on Fumes

Running on Fumes

I’m tired. Full stop. There’s no ‘but’, ‘however’ or ‘although’ that follows that statement.

I’m tired. The kind of emotional and mental exhaustion that manifests itself physically.

I, like so many Black people, are solely existing and going through life in a fog of anger, despair, and conscious, tempered rage that we have no choice but to push/work through. I’m tired of re-sharing my racial trauma for the white masses to “learn from”.

Why? Why is it my/our responsibility? Why do I have to periodically open up a long festering wound just to show you that it exist? Why do I have to show that which is raw and oozing, forever weeping? As if you seeing the damage inflicted in real time wasn’t proof enough.

Yes, you saw every lash of the racism whip every time you said nothing when a comment was made about my hair/education/experience/tone of voice, etc. You saw the thin veneer of safety ripped away when you knew that cronyism and nepotism were in full working order and you did/said NOTHING. You said nothing because you 100% benefited, either directly or indirectly, from structural racism.

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Posted by on August 30, 2020 in Social Commentary

 

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Don’t Put Your Labels On Me – Part II

Don’t Put Your Labels On Me – Part II

Here we are yet again… *sigh*

I’ve had multiple instances in the past couple of weeks where someone (in this case WASP / White Anglo Saxon Protestant female manager bolstered by another authoritative WASP woman) automatically assumed I was lying and tried to “catch” me by offering up what they saw as “proof”. I had to write detailed explanations of the circumstances, justify myself and provided my own absolutely irrefutable proof that I was indeed being ethical and truthful from the very beginning. (I.e. I shut this mess down quickly with perfect tact, professionalism and screen grabs.) This was followed by the most insulting five words I’ve heard in recent memory, “Thank you for your honesty.”

Thank you for your honesty?! That insinuates that you assume that everything I say and/or do is fabricated until you feel you have sufficient proof that I’m telling the truth. This coming from the same non-POC people who, when the tables are turned, and I KNOW that non-POC has glaringly lied through their perfectly veneered teeth, tell me to “assume positive intent” or that I “misunderstood” what they said/did/asked/instructed/demanded. I am positive that it was intended to make me out a thief of time, a fabricator of salacious falsehoods and unethical to boot. Nothing there to misunderstand.

To compound all of this and add insult to injury, the earlier exchange is later followed by a backhanded compliment of a recorded WebEx presentation I did 3-4 weeks ago saying, “… it was very professional and easy to follow. I was very impressed with your presentation skills…”. There again are the micro aggressions.

It is automatically ASSumed that we are lying. It is automatically ASSumed that, despite our experience and education, we don’t have the same or better skill set than our white counterparts. And when we prove we ARE telling the truth and we DO have the knowledge and expertise, they are “impressed” with our professionalism and presentation skills. You ASSume because of my milk chocolate hued skin, my Afrocentric name and my love of head wraps that I couldn’t possibly be poised and polished and able to lead, teach, and inform the masses, let alone the white masses. I have to prove to you beyond what is expected of my white counterparts that I AM and that I CAN.

This is what it is to be black in Corporate America. This is what it is to be black in America, period.

#staywoke #resist #DiaryOfAMadBlackProfessionalWoman

 
 

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My Seat On The Bus

My Seat On The Bus

In the last 72 hours I have learned so much. I opened up to the general public and let the discourse come in. I welcomed the opportunity to have a respectful, open dialogue with others and to share with them the “why” behind the fear and anger that millions of us feel. However, I have seen the paper thin veneer of decency in this country ripped away to expose the seething and venomous hatred that lies just below the surface.  It isn’t that I didn’t know how oblivious and hateful some people are. It’s about the people who, for whatever reason, still think and contend that the hurt, anger, grief and protest (which is protected by the Constitution whether people agree with what we’re protesting about or not) is simply and ONLY about Hillary not being elected. Frankly that is woefully inaccurate, ignorant and delusional. 

 I wrote in my previous blog post that it is so much deeper than that and I meant it. I put it in the plainest of terms; I shared the terrible, painfully racist, xenophobic and violent encounters that were and continue to be reported and was dismissed as spreading propaganda. Are you serious right now?! I don’t know what kind of fairytale world you have created for yourselves but I live in reality. Not some diseased figment of my imagination where racism, sexism, Islamaphobia, xenophobia and hate don’t exist and where all that give voice to discrimination are silenced and told “that isn’t an issue” or “put it back in the deck”. 

From my seat on the bus it isn’t the millions of upset people in this country who are wrong, it is those who perpetrated this atrocity who are. Here’s the kicker as I ride the bus of discontent and heartache and look out the window at the scenes as I pass by: many of you see absolutely NOTHING wrong with all that Donald Trump has said and done. You dismiss and trivialize the POV of millions and you refuse to believe or repudiate any of the hate speech and violence that is being perpetrated by Trump supporters. Hate speech and violence that he spurred on and approved of during these last 18 months. But now wants us to tow the line and unite and heal the racial divide. It’s so much bigger than a divide, it is a chasm that is deeper and wider than the Grand Canyon. 

 

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A Bleeding Chasm: The Racial Divide in America

A Bleeding Chasm: The Racial Divide in America

In Memorium

I’m at a loss. My heart is heavy with despair, grief and unimaginable rage that can’t be contained in words. It’s rare that I speak out publicly on the things that happen in the world, I try to be non-polarizing, even keeled but strong in my personal opinions and faith. Within the confines of my personal relationships I’m very vocal about the things of God, geopolitics and the like. But I’ve kept my opinion to myself for too long and I can no longer with a clear conscious keep it all to myself. Enough is enough and we are tired! I didn’t live through the Civil Rights movement, my mom was a young child at the time but the struggles, the fights, the death and anguish was passed on to me so that I would not forget. We are not so far removed from the abolition of slavery and the Civil Rights movement that we couldn’t easily slip back. I was told that I could be anything I wanted to be, I had the freedom of choice and should be free of fear. And yet I am fearful and I both want and need answers. Read the rest of this entry »

 

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A Retardation of Progess

Happy Sunday my Lovelies!

My heart is heavy today as are many, many others. We all know of the travesty and miscarriage of justice that occurred on last night and for the sake of my poor eyes, swollen from crying, I won’t rehash every horrible detail or the trial in its entirety. But it is time that I say those things and put into words the sentiment that I know is shared among us all.

What has happened in the last few weeks has negated all the years of moving forward that we thought we had made. The Supreme Court struck down the most important parts of the Voting Rights Act of 1965, asserting that our country has come so far that racism is no longer an issue, especially in the South. Lies and untruths! Racism is still as active and alive as it was during Jim Crow, it just isn’t as overt as it used to be. Those bigots that discriminated against and mistreated minorities during Jim Crow had children and some of them unfortunately were raised with and embraced the hateful rhetoric of their parents. They in turn had children and the cycle continues unabated. Not everyone raised under this oppressive and bigoted environment accepted this hateful stance on others as the gospel and forged knowledge of their own.

Nonetheless, I can attest that even at my young age I have been discriminated against,. I’ve been called a nigger to my face during my freshman year of college at a well-known and respected university in College Station, TX. I’ve been pulled over at night driving through the back streets to my house just because I’m Black in a non-minority-based neighborhood. I’ve been in a store in a predominantly white neighborhood and had someone assume that I worked there rather than being there to shop like them.

*So it went that a woman came up to me and said, “Can you get me this (pushing a blouse at me) in a bigger size?” I nicely and promptly informed her that I didn’t work at the store and she blinked at me in disbelief with her face turned up and stammered, “Oh… I just assumed…”. I said nothing, smiled, and walked away. In my car, I just sat contemplating the fact that there are still those who believe that someone who looks like me should be automatically assumed to be “the help” and in a position of servitude. *

It wasn’t so long ago that James Byrd, Jr. Was dragged to death in Jasper, TX by a group of white supremacists. Treyvon Martin was targeted and murdered simply for being young, Black, and in a predominantly white neighborhood. Nine (9) southern states can change their voting laws, including the ability to enact voter ID requirements, without being subject to federal oversight. We have retarded our progress forward and toward equality. I am fearful not only for our youth, and our children but also us as adults. It is a liability to be who and what God created me to be. Meditate on that.

 

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