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Where’s the Remote?!

Happy Hump Day my lovelies!!

There is something that has been irking me for a long, long time and dagnabbit it is time for another “Grinds My Gears” segment.  I’m sure some people will blast me and voice their ire over me posting this but whatever! LOL

It grinds my gears to see all of these feminine hygiene commercials.  Don’t get me wrong, I am a very much a woman and I know and understand that issues are had.  I know that there is a market for tampons, pads, odor spray, feminine wash, etc.  But damn it enough is enough!  Some of these are just too much!  Some random confounded actress saying that she didn’t know that sex and soap could throw off her pH balance (why her mother never told her these things is beyond me) and  Summer’s Eve© using the slogan “Power to the V” throw me off.

I think it’s sexist at the very least.  Why?  Because not once in my lifetime have I ever seen a man come onto my TV screen, sitting in his favorite recliner or lounging comfortably on the couch, and begin to whisper to the camera in a hushed 2nd Tenor voice that he is having testicular issues.  That he has some itching or odor or chaffing that is noticeable and uncomfortable and that he uses “Chaff-Away” for those “Not-So-Fresh” moments.

Some of these commercials are so absurd that even Saturday Night Live got in on this one, as you can see below for yourself.

And that my lovelies, is what grinds my gears!! LMAO

SNL: Autumn’s Even Pumpkin Spice Douche

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Raising a Baptist Finger

I started this particular blog post on Sunday but the WordPress app on my Kindle deleted EVERYTHING I had saved locally the minute I connected to a wifi network!!!!  I was beyond pissed off and irritated so I am forced to recollect what I wrote in its entirety.  My plucky nature knows no bounds and I am the first to admit that I’m glad that I don’t always say the first thing that comes to mind.  However it does bear stating that I am guilty of not exactly being able to hide my contempt and disdain for certain things, much as I may try… ok, so I don’t exactly try a lot of times… Don’t judge me!! LOL

As temps reach into the mid-high 80’s with a heat index in the 90’s in many parts of the country people are reaching into the back of their closets and bringing out their lighter clothing.  I must tell you that a good many of these choices should have stayed in the archives; it wasn’t right last season and nothing about the passage of this past year has made it any more appropriate.  My fashion PSAs have covered just about every situation and locale except church.  Some of y’all will say I’m going to hell for this post and that God said come as you are.  The latter of these is true, He did same come as you are but He also wants things done decent and in order.  Some of the clothing choices made are neither decent nor in any semblance of order!!    Black, White, Purple, Polka Dotted or otherwise this applies to anyone going to any church in any country on the face of the planet.  Whether you go to church on Friday, Sunday, Thursday, Saturday or mid-week services, this applies to you.

  1.  First and foremost, for the love of the fashion gods, just because they make it in your size does not mean you should buy it, let alone wear it!!  This should go without saying but EVERY Sunday I see folks who have poured their size 16 self into a size 12.  I am beautifully curvaceous and love it but you will NEVER catch me wearing anything a size too small.  I will buy it larger and have it tailored.
  2. Pantyhose with open-toed shoes… This is a no-no ladies….
  3.  Pantyhose with runs that go from your ankle up to your thigh, then you try to cover it with a prayer cloth…  You cannot put pantyhose on a cactus and not expect them to end up looking like a game of Donkey Kong!  I personally feel it is too damn hot to wear pantyhose but do you boo boo, do you.
  4.  Bodyshapers, Spanx, are a requirement under unlined skirts and dresses.  When you come to the alter for prayer your behind should not look like two pigs fighting under a blanket.
  5. Hats are great, I am a fan of and own quite a few: sunhats, Bowlers, Fedoras (my personal fav), Pageboys, and caps, whatever.  Your hat should not block 2-3 rows of parishioners behind you nor should it be able to be spotted via satellite on Google Maps.
  6. Men please stop wearing colored linen with matching shoes.
  7. Tighty Whities are not appropriate underwear under linen… if you have doubts or questions about what is please consult with the women in your life… it can be your mother for all I care as long as she doesn’t also have questionable taste as well.

I have yet to grace the public with a questionable or less than stellar ensemble.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not so vain as to say that the most important thing about going to church is what you have on.  No, I’m just saying that the randomness and foolishness that comes through the door detracts from what we should be focusing on.

Just because you are in God’s house doesn’t exempt you from being decent!!  LMBO!!  Y’all know I am my own special breed of special!!

Blessings and Happiness

T. Nicole

 

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You Filthy-McNasty!!

Happy Tuesday My Lovelies!!

I have been absent, as seems to be my modus oporandi here lately, as life has swept me up and dropped me far, far from where I originally started.  As I come up on the 1 year anniversary of starting this blog I feel the innate need to give you another “Grinds My Gears” segment.  So here goes:

Anyone with a job, anyone who works in Corporate America or in any office for that matter, will tell you that there is always some inane chit chat going around the cube farm about who does and doesn’t wash their hands after using the restroom.   There is always some commentary about certain people’s personal hygiene or lack there of.  Personally, I stay far, far away from office gossip, pandering and bs; I could probably care less about Bob, Becky or Jenny’s failure to wash their hands, as long as they aren’t touching anything on my desk and I avoid all food from those with “questionable” hygiene practices. Read the rest of this entry »

 

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I Want Spring Break Too Damn It!!!

Hello my Lovelies!!

It is yet another day and I will admit to being bored out of my ever-loving mind!!!  So this week the majority of the country is out on Spring Break and offices are running on a skeleton crew and there is little going on.  I’m envious damn it!  Yea, I admit to it, I want to take Spring Break off too!!  But because I am in graduate school here in a little over a week (I am to begin per-requisites for my PhD in Clinical Psychology), I’m not a teacher or work in the education field and I don’t have any children, Spring Break is all but forbidden to me.  Therefore I will be salty and a hater (which is an absolute rarity on my part) and pout and everything else possible to show my displeasure at my current status.  Is that childish, ignorant and wholly out of character for me? Yup and I don’t care!!!!

So instead of sunning somewhere where clouds rarely ever exist, obtaining perfect bikini tan lines and falling asleep to the sound of waves breaking on the beach, I will sit here at my desk, listening to samba music on Pandora, daydreaming about my time in Rio a few years back and eating a Cutie orange… This week can’t be over fast enough!!!

Blessings, Happiness and Fun in the Sun

T. Nicole

 

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Think About It

Hello my Lovelies!!!  I had to take a sabbatical from just about everything due to a lung infection and subsequent asthma exacerbation.  I am feeling and doing much better but still have several weeks of recovery ahead of me.  I want to publicly thank my friends and family for their love and support during a time which was extremely difficult.
Read the rest of this entry »

 

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Ol’ School Monday

Hey My Lovelies!!!

So this past weekend was FANTASTIC for me as I turned the big Dirty 30 on Saturday!!  So in honor of my 30th birthday it is Ol’ School Monday!  These are just some of my favorite old school songs so please enjoy!!

My siblings, my loves, my everything!

The best weekend I have had in a long time!

 

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Don’t Stand So Close To Me… The Remix

Happy Sunday my Lovelies!

* Steps up to the mic, clears throat*

Excuse me everyone.  Can I have your attention please?

As is the norm on my weekends, I have had yet another encounter with John Q. Public that I have found disturbing and a bit irritating.  So at breakfast yesterday at Frank’s (anyone who has lived in Houston for any amount of time knows about Frank’s!), the new one on Westheimer between Kirkwood and Dairy Ashford, I ordered my usual; sausage and cheese omelet, half grits, half hash browns and biscuits.

Yes, I ordered it!  I was hungry and it was 10:30 am and over 14 hours since I had eaten last, so there!  So when our order came the waitress unceremoniously announced that they ran out of biscuits and asked did I want anything else… Read the rest of this entry »

 

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