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Speak Up! – An Open Letter

Speak Up! – An Open Letter

Update 07/18/17

Since I posted this blog back in March all hell has broken loose

  • Russian interference in our elections, the collusion with Russia by both 45 and 45 Jr. and quite frankly the whole damn lot of 'em
  • Two (2) ACA replacement failures
  • 45 pushing past other world leaders to be in the front for a photograph
  • 45 commenting on President Macron's wife's physical appearance at Bastille Day celebration
  • 45 commenting on an Irish reporter's appearance while on the phone with the Irish Prime Minister
  • 45's hypocritical "Made in America" week when NONE of his products or those of his daughter/personal assistant are made in America
  • covfefe
  • Dozens of other Twitter gaffes

And more today than in March, I and millions of other Americans are resisting and refusing to concede out basic rights.

Come for my birth control and best believe I will leave my kids with you while I work and do everything else I need to do.

Come for my healthcare (I have many pre-existing conditions and chronic illnesses that require constant care and expensive medications) and you will bear the burden of my catastrophic hospital bills (I'm talking hundreds of thousands of dollars) when I'm in ICU because I can't breathe.

If you come for my LGBTQ brothers and sisters I will fight for their right to be whomever they choose to be. I don't care what bathroom someone uses just as long as they clean up after themselves and wash their damn hands. 🏳️‍🌈

Y'all are on notice… don't come for me or mine or attempt to infringe on anyone's rights. I will fight you EVERY 👏🏾 STEP 👏🏾OF 👏🏾THE 👏🏾 WAY👏🏾

Run and tweet that!

An open letter to those who voted for and supported 45:
It's unconscionable that everyone who had a whole hell of a lot to say pre and post election about "Making America Great Again" and that Bernie and Hillary supporters needed to stop whining and get over it are as quiet as sleeping church mice right now. The only sound I hear from that camp are the crickets and blinking peaking out from under blankets, hoping I won't pull back the wool and expose you for who and what you really are. 
There was dissent all over my FB feed. I had to block some people and unfriend others because they, for one reason or another, supported 45. They took what they wanted from what he said (Border security and "bad hombres", repealing the ACA, "putting America first" and all the other slime that poured from his ill-tempered, malicious, hate speech spewing mouth) and ignored EVERYTHING ELSE and had the audacity to say that the other stuff didn't phase them. ("You can just grab them by the pussy", "Nasty woman", "Lock her up"… the list goes on and on and on). The only thing that was important was what mattered to them personally, never giving credence to the millions of others that he offended and harangued. You told us that we should "give him a chance" and our outcries of unfairness and fear where unfounded and that we should stop being butt hurt, get over it and support him. You heckled us as we rallied and protested, called us un-American, unpatriotic and at times said our actions were treasonous. 
Now that you have come to realize what the rest of us knew from the very beginning, you have the unmitigated gall to be silent while the rest of us resist and protest? GTFOH! How dare you! How dare you stay silent and act like none of this was your fault? How dare you creep around and post that you are tired of politics on FB or social media? How dare you do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING and expect those of us who dissented to begin with to fix this? No…no… hell no! 

You lost your right to silence the minute you put up your first post supporting this inept, deluded, mentally unstable demagogue. (Did you cringe or roll your eyes when I used a second word in this post that you might have had to look up? Yeah, you did. That knowledge came from attending PUBLIC school in Houston,TX… something that with Backwards Betty as head of the Department of Education our children will be missing).  

You need to take responsibility for what you have wrought. You need to step up to the mic, clear your throats and say to the rest of us, "My name is <insert your name here> and due to my own <insert adjective here, such as: selfishness/bigotry/racism/misogyny/xenophobia/homophobia/transphobia/general intolerance for anyone who isn't me> I voted for 45. I am woefully sorry and I see the damage he and his minions have done, both to those who live with the borders of this great nation, and to our allies and our reputation on the international stage. I apologize and I stand with you to fix this!"

But you won't do that, will you? No, you won't because you think admitting you were wrong is a show of weakness. You won't because you can't openly admit your prejudices. You'll swear up and down to any god that you are the most tolerant person ever created. When in reality you prefer separate but equal. Minorities and non-Christians are fine as long as they are not in your neighborhood, attending your children's schools or commingling with you and yours. Your silence far from insulates you from what is going on right now. Your silence breeds further contempt from those of us who refuse to be silenced and shows us your yellow badge of cowardice. 

Step up…speak up…
Step up…speak up…

Step up…speak up…

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New Year… Same Me…

Happy New Year Lovebugs!!

2014 is well underway and as is the ritual and custom the social media stratosphere is abuzz with New Year’s Resolutions… “I’m going to start and/or stop [insert any number of verbs here]” and come February or as late as March, the majority of the resolutions that people have made about who they will become and the things they will or won’t do will be covered with the dust of ages and gathering cobwebs.  I don’t know what it is about the New Year that makes us delude ourselves into thinking that we will be wholly different creature come January 1 then we were on December 31st.  Don’t get me twisted; sometimes we make changes, intensely personal changes that aren’t driven by societal pressures but solely due to a personal revelation and evolution.  But change takes time and effort and a continuous redirection of attentions to achieve it.

As for me, it is a new year and I’m the same me but with a few tweaks here and there.  I can’t change people, the things they say or do or make them into the person I wish they were; nor will I change myself into who will make them comfortable.  I can only change and control how I react.  So this isn’t a New Year’s Resolution, it is simply a promise that I’m making to myself.

I resolve to let go of what others think of me and how I live my life, especially those who mean me absolutely no good… I resolve to continue to surround myself with those who are smarter and more driven then I am, I can learn from them and them from me… I resolve to cultivate those relationships that may have fallen to the wayside… I resolve to me a better me for me and no one else.  I’ve found that as I have made changes to myself over the years, there have been those around me who are uncomfortable with my growth and haven’t accepted it well. It is doubtful that those people are reading this blog post because I had no choice but to leave them where they were and push forward.  But for those who may read this and feel that you fall into the aforementioned category, one of my favorite artists Jill Scott said it best…

Hate on me hater, now or later

‘Cause I’m gonna do me, you’ll be mad, baby

Go ‘head and hate on me, hater, I’m not afraid of

What I got I paid for, you can hate on me

Blessings and Happiness Now & ALWAYS

T. Nicole

 

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I Did No Such Thing…

Happy Friday my Lovelies!! Another work week is drawing to a very, very slow close and so has my first semester of doctoral work!! It’s been rough but I eked out decent showing given the extenuating circumstances. As I reflect on a milestone passed I have to address an irritation and common misconception about those of us who are students and lovers of Psychology.

Every time someone finds out that I am currently a Psychology student, that my undergrad degree is in Psychology, that my MBA focus was in Organizational Psych and Development I get accused of conducting psychoanalysis on folks!! This is BEYOND irritatin, it grinds my gears and I know I am not alone in this. Here’s a Public Service Announcement and one of my “Grinds My Gears” segments all rolled into one…

Read the rest of this entry »

 

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Bowed But Not Broken… Tried But Not Defeated

Hey there my Lovelies! As another work week draws to a close I breathe a sigh of relief and of disappointment. This week has held pain and upset that has shaken me and nearly broken my will. Yet here I am, fingers flying across my ergonomic keyboard still here.

So I went to one of my routine 3 month follow-ups with my Rheumatologist on this past Tuesday and since she saw me last I had been hospitalized due to my chronic asthma and a subsequent lung infection. True the infection took more than a month to get over and I felt like something I had pulled off the bottom of my shoe but I was still standing. Upon hearing this, she promptly and unceremoniously said that she couldn’t treat me anymore; that her medicine/treatment had nearly killed me twice (I think she was being a bit overly dramatic but then again… it isn’t like she was lying I was REALLY sick) and that I would have to wait until medicine could catch up with as complex of a case as I am.  Read the rest of this entry »

 

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Raising a Baptist Finger

I started this particular blog post on Sunday but the WordPress app on my Kindle deleted EVERYTHING I had saved locally the minute I connected to a wifi network!!!!  I was beyond pissed off and irritated so I am forced to recollect what I wrote in its entirety.  My plucky nature knows no bounds and I am the first to admit that I’m glad that I don’t always say the first thing that comes to mind.  However it does bear stating that I am guilty of not exactly being able to hide my contempt and disdain for certain things, much as I may try… ok, so I don’t exactly try a lot of times… Don’t judge me!! LOL

As temps reach into the mid-high 80’s with a heat index in the 90’s in many parts of the country people are reaching into the back of their closets and bringing out their lighter clothing.  I must tell you that a good many of these choices should have stayed in the archives; it wasn’t right last season and nothing about the passage of this past year has made it any more appropriate.  My fashion PSAs have covered just about every situation and locale except church.  Some of y’all will say I’m going to hell for this post and that God said come as you are.  The latter of these is true, He did same come as you are but He also wants things done decent and in order.  Some of the clothing choices made are neither decent nor in any semblance of order!!    Black, White, Purple, Polka Dotted or otherwise this applies to anyone going to any church in any country on the face of the planet.  Whether you go to church on Friday, Sunday, Thursday, Saturday or mid-week services, this applies to you.

  1.  First and foremost, for the love of the fashion gods, just because they make it in your size does not mean you should buy it, let alone wear it!!  This should go without saying but EVERY Sunday I see folks who have poured their size 16 self into a size 12.  I am beautifully curvaceous and love it but you will NEVER catch me wearing anything a size too small.  I will buy it larger and have it tailored.
  2. Pantyhose with open-toed shoes… This is a no-no ladies….
  3.  Pantyhose with runs that go from your ankle up to your thigh, then you try to cover it with a prayer cloth…  You cannot put pantyhose on a cactus and not expect them to end up looking like a game of Donkey Kong!  I personally feel it is too damn hot to wear pantyhose but do you boo boo, do you.
  4.  Bodyshapers, Spanx, are a requirement under unlined skirts and dresses.  When you come to the alter for prayer your behind should not look like two pigs fighting under a blanket.
  5. Hats are great, I am a fan of and own quite a few: sunhats, Bowlers, Fedoras (my personal fav), Pageboys, and caps, whatever.  Your hat should not block 2-3 rows of parishioners behind you nor should it be able to be spotted via satellite on Google Maps.
  6. Men please stop wearing colored linen with matching shoes.
  7. Tighty Whities are not appropriate underwear under linen… if you have doubts or questions about what is please consult with the women in your life… it can be your mother for all I care as long as she doesn’t also have questionable taste as well.

I have yet to grace the public with a questionable or less than stellar ensemble.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not so vain as to say that the most important thing about going to church is what you have on.  No, I’m just saying that the randomness and foolishness that comes through the door detracts from what we should be focusing on.

Just because you are in God’s house doesn’t exempt you from being decent!!  LMBO!!  Y’all know I am my own special breed of special!!

Blessings and Happiness

T. Nicole

 

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Please Come In and Have a Seat

Happy Wednesday/Hump Day my Lovelies!!

Sometimes I think we get so wrapped up in what the world thinks about who and what we are and in never stopping moving, that we don’t take the time to slow down and really have an introspective look at who we know us to be.  Like out of one of those dramatic thrillers were the main character comes home after evading arrest and assassins to find the villain sitting in the dark their favorite chair.  He tells him to come and have a sit, motioning with his gun to an adjacent chair and our protagonist wearily slinks over and cautiously sits.  The villain goes into this deep monologue and in it dark truths are revealed that causes him to doubt everything that has happened, everything he thinks and the motives of those around him.   It’s time to have that conversation with yourself.  It is past time for you to stop running from all of those things that you have been avoiding and hiding from and face the parts of you that scare and frighten you.  You never know… you may end up the wiser for it.

Blessings and Happiness

T. Nicole

 

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I’m Wound Too Damn Tight!!

Hey there my Lovelies!!

I am freshly back from a mentally and physically exhausting week of grad work in Santa Barbara, CA and there is no rest for the wicked!! I have barely had time to unpack before I had to turn around and start my regular work week. Nonetheless, being a clinical psychology doctoral student has a way of making you realize that you have accomplished something monumental and that I should really take a moment to stop and take it all in.  *insert 5 second reflective pause…* Ok, that’s done…

So, I awoke this morning in a really strange mood.  It was a play–my-Metallica-playlist type of morning and I was for sure that no one was going to be given quarter today on anything.  I can say that that particular mindset has changed but my BS-O’Meter still has a pretty low threshold; I think I might be wound just a little too tight right now.  I am in desperate need of decompression therapy and not the kind you get from the chiropractor.  I am talking about the type of decompression therapy that makes you forget that you ever had a complaint in the world.  For some this constitutes a massage, happy hour, the gym and just about anything else that would make you melt and ignore any and everything.  Unfortunately this isn’t something that I am afforded at this point; too many responsibilities, too many depending on me, too many, too much, too little time.  So where does that leave me?  It leaves me listening to my Classic Soul and R&B stations on Pandora to keep a sliver of sanity, playing intermittent Words with Friends games with my oldest friend, texting Fashion Citations to unsuspecting friends for their Mother’s Day church choices (You know who you are… LOL) and figuring out what mischief and hijinks I can get into with the least amount of effort on my part!

Happy Hump Day My Lovelies!!

T. Nicole

This is mostly to make me laugh…

*Please note that explicit content may be included*

 

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