Tag Archives: Humor

Hey my lovelies!!  It is one day closer to Friday and I am elated!!  I have quite a few male friends, most of which I have known for 10+ years, and they all have the same qualms with and/or about women.  They are confounded and irritated by some of our behaviors and ask me time and time again why we do certain things.  So in an effort to demystify the female gender I’ll let you all in a few things.

Issues that stupefy men:

1) Why do women carry an extra pair of shoes (flip flops, slides, etc.) with them and only put on their “real” shoes when we get where we’re going?

Have you all seen our shoes!?  No matter how hard designers try women’s high heels (stiletto, wedge or otherwise) are not built for comfort and function, they are built to be beautiful and sexy.  After a while (this varies from person to person) our feet are burning and hurting but we still want to look good, so we endure it.  Therefore we normally will refuse to put on the instruments of our beauty and torment until we absolutely have to.  Just as an FYI a woman is INCREDIBLY comfortable with you if she allows you to see her all dolled up but in her flips… I dare to say she may even like you! 😉

2) Why do women put on their makeup in the car rather than at home?

Ummm… now this one is a bit tricky.  Personally I will don’t wear a whole lot of makeup, power, eyeliner, lips and maybe blush/bronzer but that’s it.  I don’t put on concealer, foundation, eyelashes, etc. on a daily, it just isn’t my thing.  I’m not knocking anyone who does; I just don’t want that kind of maintenance every day.  Nonetheless, I don’t necessarily have a concrete answer for this question.  From time to time if I am running short on time and need to get on the road, then yes, I will do my makeup in the car.  That leads to number three…

3) Why do women ALWAYS leave late?

Enough said!

4) Why do women say “Fine” but bring stuff up later?

This has been posted all over Facebook, Pintrest, etc. but lends more than a kernel of truth.  While not all women prescribe to this, it isn’t far off base.

You’ve been warned…

5) She said she didn’t want anything for Valentine’s Day/her birthday… I didn’t get her anything (or I got her a card) and she’s pissed!  But she said she didn’t want anything…

OK babies, let me help you out here and let you in on something.  Most women (not all) want you to guess or pay attention to the hints that she drops about gifts.  I don’t personally do this, I think it’s immature and childish and it is playing games with people.  But a women will drop hints about what she wants and then eagerly wait for you to have put these in your mental Rolodex and pop up with the one thing she wants the most.

• Leaving a magazine open in plain view to a certain piece of jewelry or accessory and in a place that is completely out of the ordinary.  Like your car… your side of the bed… the bathroom tub
• Saying, “I love that *insert any noun here*… *sigh* “
• “Heather/Tiffany/Jaime/Juanita/Sheila just got *insert any noun here* from Bob/John/Chris/Aaron.  She’s so lucky! (while pouting or casting sideways glances at you)
• Asking, “What do you think of this?  Isn’t this nice?”  All while showing you something that is of no earthly interest to you and while you are engrossed in a video game or sports.  You normally just grunt and say, “Yea, uh huh” just to get her to get it out of your face.

While this is not an exhaustive list of quandaries, they are the ones that I hear from my guy friends the most.  Maybe this will help some poor man who is having trouble navigating the waters of a relationship and will demystify female behavior.

Blessings and Happiness Always

T. Nicole