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Category Archives: Work Life

I’m Back Baby!

I’m Back Baby!

It has been many, many moons since I have written here and for that I am truly sorry.  I got to this place where I was depressed, unfulfilled and dealing with my many chronic illnesses.  And so, I took a break from the one thing that brings me so much solace and joy; the one outlet that fully allows me to relax, relate and release.  Why is that?  After months of introspection and wonderfully beautiful souls coming into my life, I have “found” the answer.

Writing, for me, is where truth is.  Writing would force me to address, face first, all those things that I couldn’t give words to. It would demand me to confront my deepest fears, acknowledge my failures and create a plan to move forward.  I wasn’t ready.  I wasn’t ready to admit that I didn’t have answers, I didn’t have strength, that I needed help.  And so I went into a place of deep contemplation, a place of hope and faith.  We had a Diversity & Inclusion specialist speak at our all-hands meeting last week and she had us do this ADDRESSING framework.

ADDRESSING Model (1)

We identified and accepted the many group memberships and cultural identities that we have and addressed our privilege, along with how we’ve used said privilege to our advantage and at times to the detriment of others. I was confronted with my own privilege and more so my lack thereof.  I was thunderstruck and left breathless by the realization that I downplay my own accomplishments and shrink myself to make others comfortable with who I am. I do all of this to ensure that I remain gainfully employed and out of the spotlight. 

When you are centerstage you are more open to and apt to receive harsh and undeserved criticisms. In a moment of vulnerability, I gave voice to this in public, in front of (virtually anyway) my coworkers and colleagues.  And while it was cathartic, it was painful and I did what I normally don’t do… I cried off camera afterwards.  They were tears of frustration and a cleansing flood of brokenness. Mind you this was the same day that Netflix launched Homecoming by Beyoncé.  I am a proud graduate of Texas Southern University (HBCU in Houston, TX) and seeing how hard Queen Bey struggled to get back to her authentic self gave me inspiration.  Seeing and hearing a full band and Houston music (UGK, Bun B, etc.) gave me LIFE!!

And today on a video chat with a co-worker, a friend, who is transitioning out of the company that we both work for, I inadvertently gave voice to all that ailed me, while regaling him with hilarious tales of how I came to be who and what I am.  I found my voice again.  I rediscovered my shrinking self.

So I am back to my most authentic self. I’m writing short stories and screenplays, I’m back blogging, I’m doing all those artistic endeavors that bring me joy and contentment.  I’m acting, making jewelry (as recently seen on the Grammys red carpet and American Idol *eek*) and loving on those who love on me. Only He knows what happens next but I will face it with my head high and in truth.

Peace and Blessings

T. Nicole

Image from iOS (2)

 

 

Don’t Put Your Labels On Me – Part II

Don’t Put Your Labels On Me – Part II

Here we are yet again… *sigh*

I’ve had multiple instances in the past couple of weeks where someone (in this case WASP / White Anglo Saxon Protestant female manager bolstered by another authoritative WASP woman) automatically assumed I was lying and tried to “catch” me by offering up what they saw as “proof”. I had to write detailed explanations of the circumstances, justify myself and provided my own absolutely irrefutable proof that I was indeed being ethical and truthful from the very beginning. (I.e. I shut this mess down quickly with perfect tact, professionalism and screen grabs.) This was followed by the most insulting five words I’ve heard in recent memory, “Thank you for your honesty.”

Thank you for your honesty?! That insinuates that you assume that everything I say and/or do is fabricated until you feel you have sufficient proof that I’m telling the truth. This coming from the same non-POC people who, when the tables are turned, and I KNOW that non-POC has glaringly lied through their perfectly veneered teeth, tell me to “assume positive intent” or that I “misunderstood” what they said/did/asked/instructed/demanded. I am positive that it was intended to make me out a thief of time, a fabricator of salacious falsehoods and unethical to boot. Nothing there to misunderstand.

To compound all of this and add insult to injury, the earlier exchange is later followed by a backhanded compliment of a recorded WebEx presentation I did 3-4 weeks ago saying, “… it was very professional and easy to follow. I was very impressed with your presentation skills…”. There again are the micro aggressions.

It is automatically ASSumed that we are lying. It is automatically ASSumed that, despite our experience and education, we don’t have the same or better skill set than our white counterparts. And when we prove we ARE telling the truth and we DO have the knowledge and expertise, they are “impressed” with our professionalism and presentation skills. You ASSume because of my milk chocolate hued skin, my Afrocentric name and my love of head wraps that I couldn’t possibly be poised and polished and able to lead, teach, and inform the masses, let alone the white masses. I have to prove to you beyond what is expected of my white counterparts that I AM and that I CAN.

This is what it is to be black in Corporate America. This is what it is to be black in America, period.

#staywoke #resist #DiaryOfAMadBlackProfessionalWoman

 
 

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New Line – TND Bespoke Haberdashery

New Line – TND Bespoke Haberdashery

Hey Bling Lovers!

Things have been hectic since Hurricane Harvey wrecked havoc in August and the entire region has been trying to recover and resume some sense of normalcy. While my ability to ship out orders was delayed things got done, orders were shipped and received and all went well. But it was during this time that I’ve been MIA on my blog that I was putting that time to good use. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 16, 2017 in Work Life

 

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T. Nicole Designs to Participate in Luxury Celebrity Gift Lounge in Honor of the Television’s Best and Brightest Stars

T. Nicole Designs to Participate in Luxury Celebrity Gift Lounge in Honor of the Television’s Best and Brightest Stars

We are pleased to announce T. Nicole Designs, in association with The Artisan Group, will participate in an invitation-only luxury celebrity gift lounge hosted by GBK Productions on September 16-17, 2016 at an exclusive location in Beverly Hills, California in honor television’s best and brightest stars.

Our Fidelis Bracelet Collection, Nautical Dreams Bracelets, Granite Haze, Black Rose and Dragon’s Blood bracelets will be prominently featured on display at The Artisan Group’s exhibit, and all attending celebrities, select press and media, and other VIPs will receive our Fidelis Lion Head bracelet in either Black Onyx or Garnet in their swag bags. This event will also be attended by around forty press and media outlets.

Fidleis

To learn more about T. Nicole Designs and our products, or our participation in this exclusive event, visit www.designsbytnicole.com ], call 832-529-2696 or email tnicole@designsbytnicole.com.

Tanesha N. Graham, T. Nicole Designs’ sole proprietor, is a resident of Houston, TX.

ABOUT THE ARTISAN GROUP

The Artisan Group® (http://www.theartisangroup.org) is a premier entertainment marketing group dedicated to representing small business artisans at the best celebrity gift lounges and press events. The organization provides a collective sampling of handcrafted products to celebrities and members of the press at top luxury gift lounges such as those leading up to The Academy Awards, The Golden Globes, The MTV Movie Awards and The Primetime Emmys.

The Artisan Group also coordinates product placement of its member’s handcrafted products on such hit television shows as Scandal, The Voice, The Vampire Diaries, Days of Our Lives, The Young & The Restless, Modern Family, Jane The Virgin and Law & Order: SVU, among others. Membership in The Artisan Group is juried and by invitation only.

For press inquiries regarding The Artisan Group, please visit http://www.theartisangroup.org or email press@theartisangroup.org.

* Neither T. Nicole Designs nor The Artisan Group are officially affiliated with The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (The Emmys or The Primetime Emmys).

 

 
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Posted by on September 2, 2016 in Uncategorized, Work Life

 

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Branching Out – Experiencing Growth While in Uncomfortable Places

Hey Bling Lovers!

It’s been a while since I posted and for that I am sincerely sorry! But when you read what I’ve been doing in the past few months you may be more apt to forgive me for my absence. I’ve always believed wholeheartedly that growth happens when we are in the most uncomfortable of surroundings and circumstances. 

These last few months I have found myself in foreign places, branching out and trying new skills and avenues for my brand and business that I wouldn’t have normally ventured towards. Truth be told I’m an introvert, I shy away from large groups and downplay accolades and/or complements from just about everyone about anything to do with me. But I’ve been challenging myself to know my worth as a person, a jewelry designer, as an entrepreneur. So I applied to and was accepted as a member of The Artisan Group.  They are group of wonderful handmade artisans, led by Valerie Guerreo, who have gifted their work to movies and television shows such as Law & Order: SVU, Vampire Diaries, Jane the Virgin, UnReal and a whole host of other shows , YouTube vloggers, and have had gifting suites at the MTV Movie Awards and the Primetime Emmys! Thus far I have gifted my Granite Haze bracelet to Lifetime Network’s drama UnReal, now in its second season, and I’m actively watching for it to show up on a member of the cast!

Granite Haze bracelet gifted to the stylist of UnReal in association with The Artisan Group


I was also afforded the opportunity to gift my Lolita gemstone anklet to YouTube vlogger Charmaine Barksdale, BeYouBeautiFULL.  She did an unboxing of a curated collection of handmade gifts made just for her and she LOVED the anklet! You can watch the entire unboxing video here and my anklet is inboxed at the 11 min mark here

Lolita - Gemstone Anklet

Lolita gemstone anklet gifted to YouTube Influence Vlogger Charmaine Barksdale, BeYouBeautiFULL, in association with The Artisan Group


The last major gifting that I’ll do this year with The Artisian Group will be my Fidelis Collection in the celebrity gift bags and a display in the gifting suite at The Primetime Emmys in September!!! Everything is due in two months so I’ll be hard at work making bracelets and creating new packaging and marketing materials. I’ll post about this sometime in August before I ship everything out to CA. 

In addition to all of that I had my first blogger collaboration with Karamjit Singh Maniani aka The Modern Sikh!  He was so gracious and wrote a review on his blog, Lion’s Roarabout my Fidelis Collection! Use discount code THEMODERNSIKH at checkout for 20% off your purchase on www.designsbytnicole.com

The Modern Sikh in T. Nicole Designs' Fidelis Bracelet Collection

The Modern Sikh in T. Nicole Designs’ Fidelis Bracelet Collection


I say all this not to praise myself or place myself on a pedestal. No, I say all of to show that it’s when we branch out, when we move outside what is comfortable to us and try something new that we experience growth beyond what we could have ever imagined. Be encouraged and step out on faith and try something outside of  your sphere of influence. 

Tanesha Nicole

 
 

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Confession is Good for the Soul They Say…

Confession is Good for the Soul They Say…

2015 brought major changes for me as I worked to discover my voice as a designer and create my brand. I put out the first two collections of my designing career, Eclipse & Safari, which was a very scary experience. It wasn’t frightening in the sense that I was worried about them being commercially successful or not; though profitability is always a part of it. I was more so concerned about staying true to my vision for each line and not bowing to the pressure of trendiness; I concerned about designing and crafting a product that was unique and unlike anything else; I was concerned about making high quality pieces that when I stepped back would give me contentment and personal fulfillment, as each and every piece I make has a little bit of my heart and soul in it.
I found that my fears were valid but misplaced. I think every designer, every entrepreneur, that has a passion for their art, faces these same pressures. There’s the frustration of submitting your work, your unique vision to the masses and getting some really positive feedback but that feedback doesn’t equate to sales. Then there’s the times when there’s no feedback at all, neither positive nor negative and you’re left staring at Instagram waiting for the likes to come in, wondering what you’ve done wrong. You begin to question whether or not you’re putting out a good product and if you should chuck it all in the waste bin and focus on your day job. You’re bleary-eyed, depressed and despondent only wanting to be liked on social media and seriously thinking about acquiescing to social media influences, jump on the trend train and make the same mass produced pieces as the big box stores. (No shade implied or intended)
This was me for part of 2015. I had some commercial success. I had my designs featured in a local small boutique in Houston, I had a few discussions with some stylist out of New York but I didn’t see the type of success I really wanted. I got depressed for a few months, I stopped designing, I stopped even wearing my own work. I was in a place of pity and self-loathing. But lucky for me that I have an AWESOME support system of family and incredibly close friends who are prayer warriors and realist who brought me out of my funk with real talk and encouraging words.


I realized I hadn’t failed as a designer, I hadn’t failed as a business owner, I hadn’t failed at anything simply because I made the effort and put myself out there. I had put my heart and soul into my work and put it out for the world to judge; I remembered 2 Timothy 1:7, “God did not give us spirit of timidity but one of power, of love and of self-discipline”. Once I remembered who I was and to whom I belonged, new opportunities came my way. My pieces can now be found not only on my website, T. Nicole Designs but also on BeLuxLife!

So while 2015 was a year of trial and error, learning and faltering, it was a year that I’m grateful for. I learned quite a bit about solidifying my vision and finding my voice as a designer. I learned to be patient with myself, as the kind of success I’m looking for doesn’t come overnight. It is earned through prayer, faithfulness, diligence and fortitude.

It’s perfectly ok to go against the grain because being different is what sets me apart. So I’ll continue to push forward, creating jewelry and accessories that are inspired and unique. Because while everyone else is singing the harmony I’ll be the one belting out a melody all my own. Here’s to a brand new year filled with unforgettable experiences and opportunities for personal and professional growth.

 
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Posted by on January 1, 2016 in Inspiration, Work Life

 

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Not Now Does Not Mean Not Ever

Not Now Does Not Mean Not Ever

What do you do when you come to the realization that you have arrived at a place in your career when you have no desire to be in management? We’re told via succession planning and the seen potential in us by others, that we are management material. Management is always conveyed as the ultimate goal of any role, to be in charge of and over others. But the looks of disbelief that come when you tell your supervisor/manager that have no passion or desire to move into management are staggering. They look at you in disbelief, dumbfounded at your words, and as if you have taken temporary leave of your senses; like you are lazy and lacking in ambition, when that couldn’t be further from the truth. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 27, 2014 in Inspiration, Work Life

 

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Hump Day Levity

Happy Hump Day my lovelies!! It’s been a rough couple of weeks for me and I need to laugh. So below is what I found last night and laughed my fool head off at! I promise I’m going to do this on my way out of the office on Friday!

How I Turn Up In the Club (Martin)

I Walk In The Club Like

 

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I’m Wound Too Damn Tight!!

Hey there my Lovelies!!

I am freshly back from a mentally and physically exhausting week of grad work in Santa Barbara, CA and there is no rest for the wicked!! I have barely had time to unpack before I had to turn around and start my regular work week. Nonetheless, being a clinical psychology doctoral student has a way of making you realize that you have accomplished something monumental and that I should really take a moment to stop and take it all in.  *insert 5 second reflective pause…* Ok, that’s done…

So, I awoke this morning in a really strange mood.  It was a play–my-Metallica-playlist type of morning and I was for sure that no one was going to be given quarter today on anything.  I can say that that particular mindset has changed but my BS-O’Meter still has a pretty low threshold; I think I might be wound just a little too tight right now.  I am in desperate need of decompression therapy and not the kind you get from the chiropractor.  I am talking about the type of decompression therapy that makes you forget that you ever had a complaint in the world.  For some this constitutes a massage, happy hour, the gym and just about anything else that would make you melt and ignore any and everything.  Unfortunately this isn’t something that I am afforded at this point; too many responsibilities, too many depending on me, too many, too much, too little time.  So where does that leave me?  It leaves me listening to my Classic Soul and R&B stations on Pandora to keep a sliver of sanity, playing intermittent Words with Friends games with my oldest friend, texting Fashion Citations to unsuspecting friends for their Mother’s Day church choices (You know who you are… LOL) and figuring out what mischief and hijinks I can get into with the least amount of effort on my part!

Happy Hump Day My Lovelies!!

T. Nicole

This is mostly to make me laugh…

*Please note that explicit content may be included*

 

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Salacious Sunday

Happy Sunday my Lovelies!

I have been in rare form these past couple of weeks and see no reason why today should be any different.  I have been scandalously naughty and still need to post “Stuff I Got In Trouble for Saying This Week- The Travel Edition” from my road trip to Louisiana this past week.  But in keeping with my salacious and jovial mood I give you The Harlem Shake!!

Y’all know how much I ADORE Jo Koy so I just had to include his Harlem Shake skit! Enjoy and make your own Harlem Shake moment.

Harlem Shake Compilation

Jo Koy – Harlem Shake Skit

Blessings and Happiness Always

T. Nicole

 

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