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Category Archives: Inspiration

My Battle with COVID-19

My Battle with COVID-19

Anyone who really knows me knows that I play things close to the vest. This is especially true of anything to do with my health because things can change very quickly for the worse. Historically that has been the case for me. This time last year I had just gotten out of the hospital after an asthma exacerbation.

This year I was in due to both COVID and an asthma exacerbation and I was scared shitless. After 2 1/2+ years of being extra vigilant, being fully vaccinated and boosted, wearing N95 masks everywhere, including two trips to L.A. for work, I was exposed on a work trip to Miami. I was in the hospital within 3 days of testing positive. I left my quarantine bubble to go to the hospital, not knowing if I would ever come back. It was the most sobering and terrifying experience I’ve ever had, and that’s saying a lot.

I was in hospital for four days, released back home still COVID positive to quarantine, and continue treatment. All with the Damocles Sword hanging over my head that I may develop COVID pneumonia, and to come back if I did. Statistically, based on my medical history, I shouldn’t have survived. But I did.

I’m dealing with Long-haul COVID and residual asthma issues, but I’m here. Oh, and something no one tells you about COVID until you talk to others who’ve had severe symptoms…the hallucinations… Yea, let that one sink in for a minute. As always, I’m grateful for the team at Methodist West for taking great care of me.

This selfie below was taken the day before I tested positive for COVID, but two days after I experienced anaphylactic shock at a team dinner. Nothing like being escorted out of a 5 star restaurant by EMS and security, in front of 100 of your coworkers to make you super popular at work the next morning.

 

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World Suicide Prevention Day

It’s World Suicide Prevention Day and for the first time ever I’m going to be open and share my truth. When I was 13, I attempted suicide by ingesting handfuls of pills, any and everything from my medicine cabinet. I was lonely, unhappy and felt unloved. I was nearly successful. I remember being able to hear but not see very well as darkness closed in. I fell off of the top bunk of the bunk bed I shared with my sister and hit my back on the corner of the stereo. The jolt of pain brought me out of my haze and I slept it off.

I remember the fear in my sister’s eyes and my already fragile heart broke even further. Over 25 years later I still see that look and feel horrible guilt over it. Suicidal thoughts accompanied a mental breakdown in 2013 while I was out of town for school (I was working 50 hrs a week and in a full-time Ph.D program at the time) and I immediately called my home crying and begging for help. When I got home from Chicago I made a beeline to my PCP and she put me on medication and sent me find a therapist.

I’ve dealt with anxiety and depression most of my life and am finally in a better place mentally and emotionally. I sought help, channeled my anxiety and fear into creative pursuits and things I found productive. I am now allowing myself the grace that I afford to everyone else and practicing self care.

If you need help, if you have thoughts of just wanting the pain to stop, there is a whole tribe of people who will embarace you and stand in the gap for you. My employer Ginger @carebyginger (soon to be Headspace Health) has some great resources that get you on the path to wholeness and wellness.
https://www.ginger.com/activities/strategies-for-coping-with-depression

Peace & Blessings

 
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Posted by on September 10, 2021 in Inspiration, Uncategorized

 

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I’m Back Baby!

I’m Back Baby!

It has been many, many moons since I have written here and for that I am truly sorry.  I got to this place where I was depressed, unfulfilled and dealing with my many chronic illnesses.  And so, I took a break from the one thing that brings me so much solace and joy; the one outlet that fully allows me to relax, relate and release.  Why is that?  After months of introspection and wonderfully beautiful souls coming into my life, I have “found” the answer.

Writing, for me, is where truth is.  Writing would force me to address, face first, all those things that I couldn’t give words to. It would demand me to confront my deepest fears, acknowledge my failures and create a plan to move forward.  I wasn’t ready.  I wasn’t ready to admit that I didn’t have answers, I didn’t have strength, that I needed help.  And so I went into a place of deep contemplation, a place of hope and faith.  We had a Diversity & Inclusion specialist speak at our all-hands meeting last week and she had us do this ADDRESSING framework.

ADDRESSING Model (1)

We identified and accepted the many group memberships and cultural identities that we have and addressed our privilege, along with how we’ve used said privilege to our advantage and at times to the detriment of others. I was confronted with my own privilege and more so my lack thereof.  I was thunderstruck and left breathless by the realization that I downplay my own accomplishments and shrink myself to make others comfortable with who I am. I do all of this to ensure that I remain gainfully employed and out of the spotlight. 

When you are centerstage you are more open to and apt to receive harsh and undeserved criticisms. In a moment of vulnerability, I gave voice to this in public, in front of (virtually anyway) my coworkers and colleagues.  And while it was cathartic, it was painful and I did what I normally don’t do… I cried off camera afterwards.  They were tears of frustration and a cleansing flood of brokenness. Mind you this was the same day that Netflix launched Homecoming by Beyoncé.  I am a proud graduate of Texas Southern University (HBCU in Houston, TX) and seeing how hard Queen Bey struggled to get back to her authentic self gave me inspiration.  Seeing and hearing a full band and Houston music (UGK, Bun B, etc.) gave me LIFE!!

And today on a video chat with a co-worker, a friend, who is transitioning out of the company that we both work for, I inadvertently gave voice to all that ailed me, while regaling him with hilarious tales of how I came to be who and what I am.  I found my voice again.  I rediscovered my shrinking self.

So I am back to my most authentic self. I’m writing short stories and screenplays, I’m back blogging, I’m doing all those artistic endeavors that bring me joy and contentment.  I’m acting, making jewelry (as recently seen on the Grammys red carpet and American Idol *eek*) and loving on those who love on me. Only He knows what happens next but I will face it with my head high and in truth.

Peace and Blessings

T. Nicole

Image from iOS (2)

 

 

Branching Out – Experiencing Growth While in Uncomfortable Places

Hey Bling Lovers!

It’s been a while since I posted and for that I am sincerely sorry! But when you read what I’ve been doing in the past few months you may be more apt to forgive me for my absence. I’ve always believed wholeheartedly that growth happens when we are in the most uncomfortable of surroundings and circumstances. 

These last few months I have found myself in foreign places, branching out and trying new skills and avenues for my brand and business that I wouldn’t have normally ventured towards. Truth be told I’m an introvert, I shy away from large groups and downplay accolades and/or complements from just about everyone about anything to do with me. But I’ve been challenging myself to know my worth as a person, a jewelry designer, as an entrepreneur. So I applied to and was accepted as a member of The Artisan Group.  They are group of wonderful handmade artisans, led by Valerie Guerreo, who have gifted their work to movies and television shows such as Law & Order: SVU, Vampire Diaries, Jane the Virgin, UnReal and a whole host of other shows , YouTube vloggers, and have had gifting suites at the MTV Movie Awards and the Primetime Emmys! Thus far I have gifted my Granite Haze bracelet to Lifetime Network’s drama UnReal, now in its second season, and I’m actively watching for it to show up on a member of the cast!

Granite Haze bracelet gifted to the stylist of UnReal in association with The Artisan Group


I was also afforded the opportunity to gift my Lolita gemstone anklet to YouTube vlogger Charmaine Barksdale, BeYouBeautiFULL.  She did an unboxing of a curated collection of handmade gifts made just for her and she LOVED the anklet! You can watch the entire unboxing video here and my anklet is inboxed at the 11 min mark here

Lolita - Gemstone Anklet

Lolita gemstone anklet gifted to YouTube Influence Vlogger Charmaine Barksdale, BeYouBeautiFULL, in association with The Artisan Group


The last major gifting that I’ll do this year with The Artisian Group will be my Fidelis Collection in the celebrity gift bags and a display in the gifting suite at The Primetime Emmys in September!!! Everything is due in two months so I’ll be hard at work making bracelets and creating new packaging and marketing materials. I’ll post about this sometime in August before I ship everything out to CA. 

In addition to all of that I had my first blogger collaboration with Karamjit Singh Maniani aka The Modern Sikh!  He was so gracious and wrote a review on his blog, Lion’s Roarabout my Fidelis Collection! Use discount code THEMODERNSIKH at checkout for 20% off your purchase on www.designsbytnicole.com

The Modern Sikh in T. Nicole Designs' Fidelis Bracelet Collection

The Modern Sikh in T. Nicole Designs’ Fidelis Bracelet Collection


I say all this not to praise myself or place myself on a pedestal. No, I say all of to show that it’s when we branch out, when we move outside what is comfortable to us and try something new that we experience growth beyond what we could have ever imagined. Be encouraged and step out on faith and try something outside of  your sphere of influence. 

Tanesha Nicole

 
 

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Confession is Good for the Soul They Say…

Confession is Good for the Soul They Say…

2015 brought major changes for me as I worked to discover my voice as a designer and create my brand. I put out the first two collections of my designing career, Eclipse & Safari, which was a very scary experience. It wasn’t frightening in the sense that I was worried about them being commercially successful or not; though profitability is always a part of it. I was more so concerned about staying true to my vision for each line and not bowing to the pressure of trendiness; I concerned about designing and crafting a product that was unique and unlike anything else; I was concerned about making high quality pieces that when I stepped back would give me contentment and personal fulfillment, as each and every piece I make has a little bit of my heart and soul in it.
I found that my fears were valid but misplaced. I think every designer, every entrepreneur, that has a passion for their art, faces these same pressures. There’s the frustration of submitting your work, your unique vision to the masses and getting some really positive feedback but that feedback doesn’t equate to sales. Then there’s the times when there’s no feedback at all, neither positive nor negative and you’re left staring at Instagram waiting for the likes to come in, wondering what you’ve done wrong. You begin to question whether or not you’re putting out a good product and if you should chuck it all in the waste bin and focus on your day job. You’re bleary-eyed, depressed and despondent only wanting to be liked on social media and seriously thinking about acquiescing to social media influences, jump on the trend train and make the same mass produced pieces as the big box stores. (No shade implied or intended)
This was me for part of 2015. I had some commercial success. I had my designs featured in a local small boutique in Houston, I had a few discussions with some stylist out of New York but I didn’t see the type of success I really wanted. I got depressed for a few months, I stopped designing, I stopped even wearing my own work. I was in a place of pity and self-loathing. But lucky for me that I have an AWESOME support system of family and incredibly close friends who are prayer warriors and realist who brought me out of my funk with real talk and encouraging words.


I realized I hadn’t failed as a designer, I hadn’t failed as a business owner, I hadn’t failed at anything simply because I made the effort and put myself out there. I had put my heart and soul into my work and put it out for the world to judge; I remembered 2 Timothy 1:7, “God did not give us spirit of timidity but one of power, of love and of self-discipline”. Once I remembered who I was and to whom I belonged, new opportunities came my way. My pieces can now be found not only on my website, T. Nicole Designs but also on BeLuxLife!

So while 2015 was a year of trial and error, learning and faltering, it was a year that I’m grateful for. I learned quite a bit about solidifying my vision and finding my voice as a designer. I learned to be patient with myself, as the kind of success I’m looking for doesn’t come overnight. It is earned through prayer, faithfulness, diligence and fortitude.

It’s perfectly ok to go against the grain because being different is what sets me apart. So I’ll continue to push forward, creating jewelry and accessories that are inspired and unique. Because while everyone else is singing the harmony I’ll be the one belting out a melody all my own. Here’s to a brand new year filled with unforgettable experiences and opportunities for personal and professional growth.

 
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Posted by on January 1, 2016 in Inspiration, Work Life

 

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Breast Cancer Awareness – Doing My Part

Hey bling lovers!!  
It’s October and Breast Cancer Awareness Month! I have friends who have been directly affected by Breast Cancer and do my absolute best to support their fundraising and campaigning efforts. Due to my health (severe asthma and severe Rheumatoid Arthritis flare ups) I am unable to walk in the walk here in Houston this year. I did a few years ago and was amazed and humbled by the experienced. 
So in an effort to do my part, for the month of October, 25% of the proceeds from the sale of the Rock Candy Cotton Candy Bracelet will be donated to the Susan G. Komen mission to save lives and end breast cancer!!!

  
I know it isn’t much but I know that every little bit helps!! Click the link below to show your support, buy them for survivors, friends, family, anyone who wants to visibly show their support and be blingy at the same time!! 

T. Nicole Designs Breast Cancer Awareness Bracelet

 

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Who Says You Can’t Afford It?

Hey there bling lovers!! It’s the beginning of another wonderful week of February and I must say that it is fairly warm here in Houston, unlike the rest of the country. It’s a breezy and sunny 61 degrees with a high of 81 today! It’s perfect for doing some photography work on my upcoming Safari Collection. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on February 9, 2015 in Inspiration

 

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Not Now Does Not Mean Not Ever

Not Now Does Not Mean Not Ever

What do you do when you come to the realization that you have arrived at a place in your career when you have no desire to be in management? We’re told via succession planning and the seen potential in us by others, that we are management material. Management is always conveyed as the ultimate goal of any role, to be in charge of and over others. But the looks of disbelief that come when you tell your supervisor/manager that have no passion or desire to move into management are staggering. They look at you in disbelief, dumbfounded at your words, and as if you have taken temporary leave of your senses; like you are lazy and lacking in ambition, when that couldn’t be further from the truth. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 27, 2014 in Inspiration, Work Life

 

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2014 Walk to Cure Arthritis

Happy Hump Day my lovelies!!

We have reached the middle of yet another work week and I am elated because the weekend, and hopefully some late Saturday morning sleep, awaits me!  My pain levels and lack of sleep due to the RA and related back issues has been off the charts here for the last month or so and shows no signs of abating.  Nonetheless I am pushing through as usual and have created a team for the 2014 Walk to Cure Arthritis in Houston, TX on May 3rd!

We’ve all heard about arthritis, but most of us don’t know that there are 100 forms of arthritis, that more than 50 million Americans have it, or that 300,000 children live with arthritis pain every day. It’s the leading cause of disability in the U.S., and sometimes it’s even deadly.  According to The Arthritis Foundation approximately 1.5 million people in the United States have rheumatoid arthritis (RA)! Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on March 12, 2014 in Inspiration

 

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Bowed But Not Broken… Tried But Not Defeated

Hey there my Lovelies! As another work week draws to a close I breathe a sigh of relief and of disappointment. This week has held pain and upset that has shaken me and nearly broken my will. Yet here I am, fingers flying across my ergonomic keyboard still here.

So I went to one of my routine 3 month follow-ups with my Rheumatologist on this past Tuesday and since she saw me last I had been hospitalized due to my chronic asthma and a subsequent lung infection. True the infection took more than a month to get over and I felt like something I had pulled off the bottom of my shoe but I was still standing. Upon hearing this, she promptly and unceremoniously said that she couldn’t treat me anymore; that her medicine/treatment had nearly killed me twice (I think she was being a bit overly dramatic but then again… it isn’t like she was lying I was REALLY sick) and that I would have to wait until medicine could catch up with as complex of a case as I am.  Read the rest of this entry »

 

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