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It’s No Wonder You’re Single

29 Mar

Happy Saturday my lovelies!! It’s officially Spring and time for warm weather clothes and sandals, preferably these awesome Michael Kors wedges I’ve been coveting. So while sitting in the bleachers waiting for a kids basketball game to start, I am surround by a gaggle of women. Quite an uncomfortable place for me to be as I can’t normally tolerate the cackling and gossiping, it irritates me to no end.

So the conversation turns to, “Girl I don’t know why there aren’t any good men around!” They all cluck in agreement but then I spy something out of the corner of my eye that explained to me EXACTLY why she is lacking male companionship. It’s time for another Grinds My Gears segment.

All while griping about the lack of decent men, she pulled out a bottle of Victoria’s Secret body oil, removed her knockoff Gucci flip flops and proceeds to oil her feet!! I mean soles, between toes and all and then wipes her hands on her jeggings. *insert open-mouthed blank stare and look of utter disgust* Baby girl let me tell you why you’re single: because you behave like that in public!! Yes, we as ladies keep lotion or body oil on our person to moisturize after washing our hands, using hand sanitizer or even during cold weather for touchups. Lotioning your hands in public: acceptable; lotioning your arms and elbows: maybe; lotioning your daggone feet, pedicured or not, is UNACCEPTABLE!! No man is going to look twice at you doing that! That tells every man in a 50 foot radius that you don’t know or adhere to boundaries. That you have no shame or self respect enough to excuse yourself to take care of your personal hygiene in private. If you will rub down your feet in front of the general public with no qualms and not even attempt to wash your hands, what else will you do? What other disturbing habits might you have? I’m just saying that guys don’t like surprises like that and contrary to what you may think, they pay attention to things like that.

So to the basketball mom that is bemoaning her singledom, you oil your feet in public… It’s no wonder you’re single.

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One response to “It’s No Wonder You’re Single

  1. outstandingbachelor

    March 30, 2014 at 1:56 pm

    Nice post. And true!

     

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