Happy Friday my lovelies!! It is Friday and despite some of the negativity that has gone on this week I refuse to let it get me down. I am headed home to play with my three dogs and I found this in an email from a former co-worker and it made me laugh. I don’t know who to attribute this to but I had to share it. I’m not a fan of cats, I am dog lover myself (Tyson, Lennox and Lola) below but this is hilarious!!
Lenny & TyTy
Tyson & Lola
Find something to make you smile today and every day.
WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES
Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary…..
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary…
Day 983 of my captivity…
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or
some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless
must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to
disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Idiots.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed
in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could
hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due
to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it
to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The
dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be
more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
safe. For now…
Blessing and Happiness
It’s No Wonder You’re Single
Happy Saturday my lovelies!! It’s officially Spring and time for warm weather clothes and sandals, preferably these awesome Michael Kors wedges I’ve been coveting. So while sitting in the bleachers waiting for a kids basketball game to start, I am surround by a gaggle of women. Quite an uncomfortable place for me to be as I can’t normally tolerate the cackling and gossiping, it irritates me to no end.
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Posted by grahamcrackercrumbs09 on March 29, 2014 in Grinds My Gears, Random Thoughts and Humor, Social Commentary
Tags: Basketball, Humor, Hygiene, Men, Relationships, Single