Life brings all kinds of circumstances, experiences, people and can be the source of joy, love, contentment, strife, grief and anger. I was not in a good place on yesterday, life happened and although I put on a strong face most days, it gets to be a bit too much some days and my heart is heavy. So on the way to the office I was singing to myself and began to cry out of pure frustration, solitude and grief for what my life used to be. Houston saw rain on yesterday, which meant traffic snarls, irate drivers, slick roads and humidity that even Vidal Sassoon hairspray couldn’t withstand.
People complain about the rain, how much they hate it, how it ruins outdoor weekend plan, etc. But a good dose of rain, in the right amounts washes away the pollen on your car that drives you nuts and makes your eyes tear and turn red, makes your nose run and asthma symptoms to appear. It is the good amounts of rain that renew and give life to all creatures. In watching the rain drips pelt my windshield my spirit was lifted and I couldn’t help but smile. Just as the rain in the right amounts can wash away irritants, renew and give life, so can the tears of a soul in torment. Tears are an outward expression of the words your heart can’t say, of the grief and hurt that your soul feels but cannot express. Showing emotion is difficult for most of us and crying for some people, is unheard of and thought to show weakness. But in your private moments you will find that crying is a cathartic experience and your heart is unburdened by it.
My crying yesterday allowed me to show my hurt, my despair, my anger and finally my understanding and gratefulness to God and His purpose for me. In my tears I was reminded that it is ok to be depressed sometimes, it is ok to be down and in a dark place sometimes, but that there is always light and you just can’t stay there forever. Eventually you dry your eyes, wipe your face, blow your nose, sit up straight and know that life is more than just the adverse circumstances and situations that we face. Holding back emotion behind the floodgates and levees that we create within ourselves puts undue pressure on an already fragile structure. Those walls can only hold so much and when the pressure begins to be too much, cracks begin to form, leaks occur and eventually the walls are compromised and all that was stored up is released in what ends up being a torrential flood of emotion. The outcome can be detrimental for everyone and the emotional toll on you and those around you can end up being devastating and irreparable. But when you release those flood waters a little at a time, instead of letting them build up, the integrity of your psyche is maintained.
I see the rain as a good thing, a healthy and needed remedy to the acrid and unforgiving terrain of life. In the words of Bishop Paul S. Morton, ” Open the flood gates of Heaven… Let it rain… Let it rain”.
Blessings and Happiness