I started this particular blog post on Sunday but the WordPress app on my Kindle deleted EVERYTHING I had saved locally the minute I connected to a wifi network!!!! I was beyond pissed off and irritated so I am forced to recollect what I wrote in its entirety. My plucky nature knows no bounds and I am the first to admit that I’m glad that I don’t always say the first thing that comes to mind. However it does bear stating that I am guilty of not exactly being able to hide my contempt and disdain for certain things, much as I may try… ok, so I don’t exactly try a lot of times… Don’t judge me!! LOL
As temps reach into the mid-high 80′s with a heat index in the 90′s in many parts of the country people are reaching into the back of their closets and bringing out their lighter clothing. I must tell you that a good many of these choices should have stayed in the archives; it wasn’t right last season and nothing about the passage of this past year has made it any more appropriate. My fashion PSAs have covered just about every situation and locale except church. Some of y’all will say I’m going to hell for this post and that God said come as you are. The latter of these is true, He did same come as you are but He also wants things done decent and in order. Some of the clothing choices made are neither decent nor in any semblance of order!! Black, White, Purple, Polka Dotted or otherwise this applies to anyone going to any church in any country on the face of the planet. Whether you go to church on Friday, Sunday, Thursday, Saturday or mid-week services, this applies to you.
First and foremost, for the love of the fashion gods, just because they make it in your size does not mean you should buy it, let alone wear it!! This should go without saying but EVERY Sunday I see folks who have poured their size 16 self into a size 12. I am beautifully curvaceous and love it but you will NEVER catch me wearing anything a size too small. I will buy it larger and have it tailored.
Pantyhose with open-toed shoes… This is a no-no ladies….
Pantyhose with runs that go from your ankle up to your thigh, then you try to cover it with a prayer cloth… You cannot put pantyhose on a cactus and not expect them to end up looking like a game of Donkey Kong! I personally feel it is too damn hot to wear pantyhose but do you boo boo, do you.
Bodyshapers, Spanx, are a requirement under unlined skirts and dresses. When you come to the alter for prayer your behind should not look like two pigs fighting under a blanket.
Hats are great, I am a fan of and own quite a few: sunhats, Bowlers, Fedoras (my personal fav), Pageboys, and caps, whatever. Your hat should not block 2-3 rows of parishioners behind you nor should it be able to be spotted via satellite on Google Maps.
Men please stop wearing colored linen with matching shoes.
Tighty Whities are not appropriate underwear under linen… if you have doubts or questions about what is please consult with the women in your life… it can be your mother for all I care as long as she doesn’t also have questionable taste as well.
I have yet to grace the public with a questionable or less than stellar ensemble. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not so vain as to say that the most important thing about going to church is what you have on. No, I’m just saying that the randomness and foolishness that comes through the door detracts from what we should be focusing on.
Just because you are in God’s house doesn’t exempt you from being decent!! LMBO!! Y’all know I am my own special breed of special!!
I have been in rare form these past couple of weeks and see no reason why today should be any different. I have been scandalously naughty and still need to post “Stuff I Got In Trouble for Saying This Week- The Travel Edition” from my road trip to Louisiana this past week. But in keeping with my salacious and jovial mood I give you The Harlem Shake!!
Y’all know how much I ADORE Jo Koy so I just had to include his Harlem Shake skit! Enjoy and make your own Harlem Shake moment.
You have NO idea how happy I am that it is Friday! This week has been an absolute beast and I am ready to enjoy my own personal happy hour and work on jewelry for my showing tomorrow. So, today is the inception of the newest weekly blog installment, “Stuff I Got In Trouble for Saying/Doing This Week”. You all know that I am random, unfiltered and honest, almost to a fault. I don’t try to be funny or witty; it just comes out that way sometimes. So for the week of April 15th here is what I have gotten in trouble for saying/doing:
Me: You are so positive; I don’t know how you do it.
Mom: I am learning to see the glass as half full rather than half empty.
Me: Is it bad that I see the glass as just as glass?
Me: Portuguese food? WTH? People say,” Hey, let’s try that new Chinese place”, “Hey, let’s try that new Mediterranean place.”, “Hey, let’s try that new Italian place.” No one says, “Hey, let’s try that new Portuguese place.” Hell, the Portuguese don’t even say that! You know what they say? “Hey, let’s go over to Spain for lunch.”
You all know how I ADORE fashion and accessories and the like. I love Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klein, Michael Kors, Rachel Roy, Rachel Zoe and a multitude of others. You can catch me on any given day in a flowing Grecian-inspired maxi dress or figure-hugging jeans and fitted tee, a vintage romper (I love vintage looks), I am always making a concerted effort to look and feel my best. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not a brand hog nor do I only wear designer labels. I am a fan of Wish, Langford Heights, and other small boutique shops around Houston and I am huge proponent of not having to spend a lot to look jaw-droppingly awesome. What do I call it? “Ballin’ on a Budget” I don’t go broke buying clothes and shoes or accessories; the great thing is that all of my accessories with a few exceptions are my own creations. If I want something in particular and I don’t have it… I make it, simple as that! Read the rest of this entry »
I have been absent, as seems to be my modus oporandi here lately, as life has swept me up and dropped me far, far from where I originally started. As I come up on the 1 year anniversary of starting this blog I feel the innate need to give you another “Grinds My Gears”segment. So here goes:
Anyone with a job, anyone who works in Corporate America or in any office for that matter, will tell you that there is always some inane chit chat going around the cube farm about who does and doesn’t wash their hands after using the restroom. There is always some commentary about certain people’s personal hygiene or lack there of. Personally, I stay far, far away from office gossip, pandering and bs; I could probably care less about Bob, Becky or Jenny’s failure to wash their hands, as long as they aren’t touching anything on my desk and I avoid all food from those with “questionable” hygiene practices. Read the rest of this entry »
It is yet another day and I will admit to being bored out of my ever-loving mind!!! So this week the majority of the country is out on Spring Break and offices are running on a skeleton crew and there is little going on. I’m envious damn it! Yea, I admit to it, I want to take Spring Break off too!! But because I am in graduate school here in a little over a week (I am to begin per-requisites for my PhD in Clinical Psychology), I’m not a teacher or work in the education field and I don’t have any children, Spring Break is all but forbidden to me. Therefore I will be salty and a hater (which is an absolute rarity on my part) and pout and everything else possible to show my displeasure at my current status. Is that childish, ignorant and wholly out of character for me? Yup and I don’t care!!!!
So instead of sunning somewhere where clouds rarely ever exist, obtaining perfect bikini tan lines and falling asleep to the sound of waves breaking on the beach, I will sit here at my desk, listening to samba music on Pandora, daydreaming about my time in Rio a few years back and eating a Cutie orange… This week can’t be over fast enough!!!
It has been a couple of weeks since All Star Weekend and I haven’t had the time to post anything, even though there is tons for me to talk about. Today in the life of me I had to be my own Public Service Announcement, so y’all this one is directed at me as well… sigh ( LMBO) Read the rest of this entry »
I am so busy and/or not feeling well that I haven’t had a regular blog schedule and I really, really want to get back to where I was a year ago. Pray for me y’all!!
*Taps mic and clears throat*
Excuse me everyone. I would like to thank all of you for attending this Public Service Announcment. It is All Star Weekend here in Houston and the city is swelling and bursting at the seams with celebrities, musicians, pro athletes and hangers-on.
Forgive me for not having posted regularly since my last post, I am down with the flu but couldn’t let today pass without a “Grinds My Gears” segment.
Today is Super Bowl Sunday, the Holy Grail football, the most holy and sacred of days for football lovers and finatics. (Yes, I realize that this is a bit blasphemous buy stick with me, I’m going somewhere ) Church services will have a skeleton crew and be very short today, patient care at the hospital may not be as diligent as it normally would be, grocery stores will be packed and the liquor/alcohol aisle will be overstocked because of those folks who didn’t hit up Spec’s or Fiesta Liquor on yesterday! (Texas is dry on that hard liquor and spirits cannot be sold on grocery stores or on Sundays) Read the rest of this entry »
Forgive me for not having posted regularly since my last post, I am down with the flu but couldn’t let today pass without a “Grinds My Gears” segment.
Today is Super Bowl Sunday, the Holy Grail football, the most holy and sacred of days for football lovers and finatics. (Yes, I realize that this is a bit blasphemous buy stick with me, I’m going somewhere ) Church services will have a skeleton crew and be very short today, patient care at the hospital may not be as diligent as it normally would be, grocery stores will be packed and the liquor/alcohol aisle will be overstocked because of those folks who didn’t hit up Spec’s or Fiesta Liquor on yesterday! (Texas is dry on that hard liquor and spirits cannot be sold on grocery stores or on Sundays) Read the rest of this entry »
) Church services will have a skeleton crew and be very short today, patient care at the hospital may not be as diligent as it normally would be, grocery stores will be packed and the liquor/alcohol aisle will be overstocked because of those folks who didn’t hit up Spec’s or Fiesta Liquor on yesterday! (Texas is dry on that hard liquor and spirits cannot be sold on grocery stores or on Sundays)
Raising a Baptist Finger
I started this particular blog post on Sunday but the WordPress app on my Kindle deleted EVERYTHING I had saved locally the minute I connected to a wifi network!!!! I was beyond pissed off and irritated so I am forced to recollect what I wrote in its entirety. My plucky nature knows no bounds and I am the first to admit that I’m glad that I don’t always say the first thing that comes to mind. However it does bear stating that I am guilty of not exactly being able to hide my contempt and disdain for certain things, much as I may try… ok, so I don’t exactly try a lot of times… Don’t judge me!! LOL
As temps reach into the mid-high 80′s with a heat index in the 90′s in many parts of the country people are reaching into the back of their closets and bringing out their lighter clothing. I must tell you that a good many of these choices should have stayed in the archives; it wasn’t right last season and nothing about the passage of this past year has made it any more appropriate. My fashion PSAs have covered just about every situation and locale except church. Some of y’all will say I’m going to hell for this post and that God said come as you are. The latter of these is true, He did same come as you are but He also wants things done decent and in order. Some of the clothing choices made are neither decent nor in any semblance of order!! Black, White, Purple, Polka Dotted or otherwise this applies to anyone going to any church in any country on the face of the planet. Whether you go to church on Friday, Sunday, Thursday, Saturday or mid-week services, this applies to you.
I have yet to grace the public with a questionable or less than stellar ensemble. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not so vain as to say that the most important thing about going to church is what you have on. No, I’m just saying that the randomness and foolishness that comes through the door detracts from what we should be focusing on.
Just because you are in God’s house doesn’t exempt you from being decent!! LMBO!! Y’all know I am my own special breed of special!!
Blessings and Happiness
T. Nicole
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Posted by grahamcrackercrumbs09 on May 28, 2013 in Grinds My Gears, Random Thoughts and Humor, Social Commentary, Uncategorized
Tags: Church, Clothes, clothing, Fashion, Humor, Life, Miscellaneous, PSA, Random Thoughts, style, Sunday, Tanesha Graham